Bizarro Reporters

Steve Simmons gets all political on us in today's Sun:

If John Tory could keep the CFL alive at its grimmest moments, why couldn't he keep Ontario alive?

Good question Steve, and completely appropriate for a sports column! It looks like the shameless shilling for the Conservative Party isn't limited to the Sun's newsroom. To answer your question, Steve, it appears that the people of Ontario (or at least the few who bothered to vote) are willing to tolerate higher taxes if it means better health and education services. Or, they looked at Tory, saw what he had to offer, and still preferred a creepy, lying, animatronic Sens fan to lead them.

Your revolution is over Mr. Simmons. Condolences. The bums lost. My advice to you is to stay away from politics and stick to writing gibberish about sports. Like this:

A question to ponder: Mats Sundin, Hall of Famer or not?

It took me less time to ponder this than it did to finish reading the question. The answer is yes. Slam-dunk, no-doubt, 100%, absodubadably, yes. Two reasons:

1. We're not talking Cooperstown here. When Mats gets into the Hall, he will be joining the likes of Clark Gillies, Bernie Federko, and Pat LaFontaine. Good players all, but definitely not the game's elite. Two of them are Islanders, for crying out loud. Dick Duff is going in this year. Mats is a lock.

2. Mats Sundin is a very good hockey player. He has averaged over a point per game. He has over 500 goals and 1000 points. He will, in all likelihood, finish his career in the top 20 all time for points and goals. All time. Those are Hall of Fame numbers.

The only way Mats doesn't get in is if people like Simmons get to vote.

Simmons also discussed Mats' record breaking week on The Reporters today:

My thumb is up to Mats Sundin of the Toronto Maple Leafs who this week became the all-time leading goals and points getter in franchise history. A great accomplishment for a guy who's had an understated career playing on a team that he had to carry for virtually every one of his 13 seasons in Toronto.

Good work Steve. Very classy, and I like that you acknowledged how Sundin has carried the Leafs for the last 13 years. Perfect. So just stop there, stare at the camera, and don't say anything stupid. You're done. Or...you're not done? Really? Steve? Steve? Don't....

Now, the Sundin number, as good as it is in Toronto, doesn't really pass the test of Original Six franchises for all-time goals or points. He's 300 behind Gordie Howe, about 300 behind Bobby Hull, way behind Johnny Bucyk and he'd be sixth all-time on the Montreal Canadiens scoring list. So, it's a long way to go still for Mats Sundin amongst the Original Six.

How come no one on the Reporters ever cuts Simmons off halfway through his rant to make sure that the audience knows they think he's a moron? I had this little fantasy while watching the show this morning.

Dave Hodge: (Flings pencil at Simmons) Come on Steve. Gordie Howe played for 24 freaking seasons. Of course he has way more points than Sundin. Did you know that Gordie Howe averaged 1.1 points per game? Do you know who else has averaged 1.1 points per game? Yes, Steve, it is Mats Sundin. It is incredibly misleading and disingenuous to compare Mats to players who racked up points totals for one team in an era when players rarely switched teams. Not to mention the fact that Sundin played the bulk of his career in one of the lowest scoring eras in the history of the NHL. What is your point, exactly. You know, this show is called the Reporters with Dave Hodge. When you start flapping your gums like this, you make me look bad. It is embarrassing.

Dave Feschuk: I'm new here, and I'm mostly a basketball guy, but these numbers don't seem to make any sense. By my calculations, Sundin would be fifth on the Habs list, and he'll probably pass Maurice and Henri Richard by the end of next season. I doubt he'll catch Beliveau and his 1219 points, but then again, Beliveau played for 20 seasons. What the hell are you trying to prove, Simmons?

Dave Naylor: My thumb is down to Steve Simmons. Week after week we are subjected to his selective and often completely fabricated stats. Mats Sundin now has 1253 career points, including his time with the Nordiques. Guy LaFleur, the Habs all time scoring leader, scored exactly 100 more points in his career, which also included stints with the Rangers and Nordiques. It is possible that by the end of next season, Sundin will have more points to his name than any Habs player who ever played the game. If Mats had played his whole career for Toronto, things would be much different. Of course, all of these comparisons don't really mean anything since we're comparing different eras and lengths of careers, but I just think it is important for people to realize that Simmons has no clue what he is talking about.

Dave Hodge: And my god Simmons! What are you wearing? A black shirt with a yellow tie? Are you flying to a wedding in New Jersey when we're done taping? For the Reporters, I'm Dave Hodge (cue canned Jazz/Funk music).

Of course, that will never happen. But a man can dream...