He knows me better than I know myself

David Lee Shoalts is going to be our patsy today:

Calm down Leafs fans, you got your win

We can all thank Tomas Kaberle and Mats Sundin for helping us narrowly avoid panic in the streets. 

Their work in overtime on Saturday gave the Toronto Maple Leafs their first win of the NHL season, a 4-3 come-from-behind victory over the Montreal Canadiens. As a result, hundreds of thousands of Thanksgiving dinners were saved from becoming nasty family brawls if the season had begun with three losses in a row.

Those crazy Leafs fans. Irrational and prone to riot and brawl because their team lost three games in a row. Remember those ugly Ballard years, when Toronto burned at night for 13 straight winters? There are families that still don't speak to each other because the Leafs lost an important Norris Division home-and-home with the Minnesota North Stars just before Christmas. I'm surprised they let us out of our cages from October to April.

Leafs fans: we're hamsters.

Hey, don't laugh. It was already getting ugly out there. There was that headline in a Toronto newspaper after the Leafs lost two in a row to the Ottawa Senators - Wait 'Til Next Year.

a.) I'm not laughing.

b.) Shoaltsy should really know this, since he works for a newspaper and all, but Leafs fans don't actually write the headlines for the Sun. Or the Globe and Star for that matter. Headlines are, in fact, the responsibility of copy editors, who read stories by people like Shoalts, and then craft a headline to trick readers into reading said story. So, if Shoalts or Simmons or anyone else insist on writing their daily "Leafs are doomed" pieces, the headlines will reflect the stories.

Shoalts, by the way, is far from the only writer guilty of repeatedly pushing the panic button, and then writing about the supposed discontent in the streets of Toronto. The past few weeks have seen Simmons, Cox, Paul Hunter, Bill Lankhoff and others jump to very quick judgment about the Leafs prospects for the season, and then claim that Leafs fans are perched on some proverbial ledge.

As this was being written, it was hard to say exactly what the reaction of the local hockey nuts will be. For all we know, today's headline could proclaim, Cup Is In The Bag.

a.) Repeat after me: it is the monkeys at the newspapers who write the headlines, not Leafs fans. Hard to believe, but true.

b.) Due to geography and poor decision making skills, I became a Leafs fan when I was a kid. I am what Shoaltsy would call a "local hockey nut." I can name pretty much every player from those awful 80s teams, and I own a few Leafs jerseys, some pajamas, pens, notepaper, books, videos, playing cards, and whatever else those greedy bastards at MLSE can stamp a logo on. I am a sucker, but I am not, as Shoalts would have you believe, a total idiot.

Like most Leafs fans, I have a pretty good grasp of reality. I know the Leafs aren't going to win the Stanley Cup this year (or within the next four or five). I know we are in a battle just to make the playoffs. However, I do love my team and I enjoy watching them play hockey. Just because Shoalts and his cronies continually claim that Leafs fans believe the team will win the cup, and that fans are on suicide watch three games into the season, does not make it true.

Three games is a little thin as a base for conclusions about the rest of the season, but there are some things that are shifting into focus.

Three games? Shoaltsy based most of his conclusions on the pre-season.

The most encouraging sign is goaltender Vesa Toskala. He looks nothing like the fellow who blundered his way through the exhibition season.

See!

The only people I noticed panicking about Toskala's pre-season form were actually sports writers. Most people who watch hockey know that pre-season is when the players work off the fat from a summer of drinking beer on the cottage dock, and that pre-season numbers bear little on the regular season, That is why Alexander Suglobov didn't lead the Leafs in regular season scoring last year. Unlike certain people, I was willing to give Toskala a few games before I made any judgments. So far so good, but I'm not willing to give him a passing grade until he's HOLDING THE CUP OVER HIS HEAD AT THE ACC THIS SPRING!!!!!  WOOOOOOOOOO!!!! WE'RE GONNA WIN IT ALL!!!!!!!!

Oops...that just slipped out.

There are still a few too many warts on the Leafs' game to declare them bound for the postseason - the defence still needs to improve in its own end - but there is no reason to panic just yet.

Once again, no one panicking here. In fact, I was pretty happy with the first three games of the year. We outplayed Ottawa for six periods and still ended up losing both games. It sucked, but at least there were some positives there. We didn't look good against the Habs, but we still pulled one out, and Sundin played with a fire that I haven't seen in years. So, no panic. I think the team is good enough to finish as high as sixth, and has enough troublesome issues to make me think they could fall well out of the playoffs. That's why they play the games and don't just give us the Cup at the start of the season like we rightly deserve.

That can wait until later this week.

And I can't wait for you to tell me how I feel about it, Shoalts.