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In my post in the wake of the high point of the Leafs 2007-08 campaign, I predicted what I thought would be the next day's party line from the Mittenstringer Mafia. To my surprise, they picked up none of these talking points, instead refusing to draw any larger conclusions from the Leafs' fourth game beyond highlighting Sundin's record-breaking goal (nice, but he's no Steve Shutt, let alone Stephan Lebeau). Wise journalistic practice for the early going of a long season, yet quite contradictory with the SOP after the Hurricanes game, which featured much teeth-gnashing and garment-rending about the 78 winless games that were sure to follow.

Well, Shoalts gives us a peek behind the curtain today to show us the titanium echo chamber in which Leafs coverage is generated:

Two nights later, the New York Islanders were the visitors, and this time it was the Leafs making tracks in the offensive zone with an 8-1 win. When your agent was rather restrained in his praise for the victors, several e-mailers took umbrage. How could you dump all over them after the loss to the Hurricanes and then not praise them to the skies for waxing the Islanders?

Well, it was rather easy. The Hurricanes are an elite Eastern Conference team that was playing at the top of its game. That exposed the Leafs' flaws and showed how far they have to go to be a contender.

The Islanders are one of the Eastern dregs and they played one of their worst games. So what was learned is that if the Leafs defence' has an opponent it can handle, the forwards can score some goals if they stick to their forechecking and the opposing goaltender is awful.

I. Am. Speechless.

First, hats off to Shoalts for not blaming Leafs fans for writing the wrong headline this time. Given his opinion of Leafs fans' general savagery and hysteria, I bet he hasn't made it into the Globe parking lot yet. Make sure and slide some Kraft Singles under the door, Duhatschek!! The rest of this insane bullshit I'll have to break down scientifically, like the Nature Boy going to work on Ronnie Garvin:

1. The Hurricanes are an "elite team" that finished three points behind the Leafs last year, 11th in the East. They may have won the Cup two years ago, but I think we can agree Shoalts is jumping the gun here a bit in crowning them as one of the teams to beat.

2. The game showed "how far the Leafs have to go to be a contender." Actually, Bryan McCabe's 20 minutes a game do that on a night in, night out basis. No one thinks this year's Leafs are a contender. NO ONE. Yet Shoalts continues to bash this straw man three times a week. Give it a rest. If you got Brylcreem Jr on a five-day meth binge, the best he'd tell you was that this year's team would deal Raycroft, win a playoff round, and give him one more year of ownership trying to hire someone else behind his back while leaking misinformation about him to Steve Simmons'  Etch-A -Sketch.

3. The Islanders suck. Well, no arguments there.

The truly laughable part is Cheap Shoalts' need to defend his hatchet work mid-column, a pretty solid sign that he knows he's full of it. After the Carolina-Toronto game, veteran Canes forward and Peterborough native Cory Stillman pointed out that Carolina wasn't 7-1 good, and the Leafs weren't 7-1 bad. If only Shoalts could give us that kind of perspective, and follow the Leafs as a hockey team, without the endless drama club hair-pulling that has to accompany it, and the intellectually bankrupt dodge of pinning it on "Leafs Nation," who are in actuality just a loyal group of hockey fans who follow a struggling team and don't need to be pulled into the Dan Shaughnessy -style nonsense of the local hacks. The pity is again, this column shows that there is a decent hockey writer here once you strip away the shtick. David, just cover the damn games. Let the fans write the headlines.