Killing Your Brain Like A Posionous Mushroom
Where the hell have we been for the last five days? No doubt our lengthy absence made you worry your intrepid reporters were locked in a torture dungeon deep in the recesses of The Reporters set:
COX: Give up the Bloc, or we will deliver the ultimate punishment....
JORN: Do your worst, slaphead!
COX: Very well - Simmons!
SIMMONS: Snarf, snarf!
COX: Put them..... in the studio audience!!!!!
(SCREAMS)
Actually, the real reason for our absence is much more prosaic. We got arrested again for loitering in the bushes outside Al Strachan's house. They do give you the papers in jail, so we stayed mostly up to date on what has been a pretty quiet week, all things considered. Here are some quick thoughts about last week's material, and some site news. We will not be commenting on the John Tavares situation unless there's more news, cause it's pretty much a non-starter. Besides, I don't write about Oshawa if I can help it - I'm a bloccer, not a war correspondent. Kudos anyways to Cheap Shoalts for breaking the story and Brylcreem Jr for getting the press to write about something else than how he's getting canned for a couple days.
Other notes:
Steve Simmons Sunday brainsqueeze: If you don't think fighting in hockey can hurt somebody, take another look at Zdeno Chara's pounding of Chicago's David Koci and see if that doesn't change your mind.
Getting punched in the face hurts? Who knew? Of course, if Chara really wanted to punish Koci, he would have held him down and read Simmons' column to him.
Rick Westhead at the Star got some deserved plaudits for breaking a story that the Leafs have a vast, vast, vast fortune. Vast. However, the Tyee received much less notice for digging up a tidbit that wasn't, you know, obvious to everyone. They reported that the Peddie/Tanenbaum Axis of Evil isn't the only dictatorship supported by the Ontario Teacher's Pension Plan: They also invest heavily in Burma. Andrew Raycroft. Cultural exchange. Make it happen, Teachers!
Also in Saturday's TorStar Leafs fest was UofT dean Richard Powers' pretentious bullshit (talking about the 'market's natural competitive forces' as if the NHL wasn't a monopoly - ask Jim Balsillie) on why Leafs fans are to blame for the Leafs sucking. Apparently they should be boycotting games (ask Pirates fans how that one went) or trying to get Hamilton an NHL team, when many nights it looks like Toronto needs one too. Powers manages to demonstrate he understands economics about as well as he does hockey. The teams owners need to "step up and invest in the business of hockey" - yet the Leafs are continually at the top of the league in payroll. The problem isn't being cheap, it's being dumb. The Sabres, who reached 100 points last year with a payroll half the size, demonstrate the idiocy of Powers' argument.
Well, that about wraps it up. If we missed anything else, send it along. We've noticed that we've seen a spike in readership over the last few weeks, and we'd like to hear from you. In the spirit of Griffin and Cox, we'd like to announce our first ever COX BLOC MAILBAG! Any question about the Canadian sports media, sports, how Julianne Moore ruined Jurassic Park: The Lost World (trust me, Jorn'll bend yer ear about it) is welcome. We're also putting up links soon, so suggestions for good sites are also appreciated.
Keep watching the skies.
COX: Give up the Bloc, or we will deliver the ultimate punishment....
JORN: Do your worst, slaphead!
COX: Very well - Simmons!
SIMMONS: Snarf, snarf!
COX: Put them..... in the studio audience!!!!!
(SCREAMS)
Actually, the real reason for our absence is much more prosaic. We got arrested again for loitering in the bushes outside Al Strachan's house. They do give you the papers in jail, so we stayed mostly up to date on what has been a pretty quiet week, all things considered. Here are some quick thoughts about last week's material, and some site news. We will not be commenting on the John Tavares situation unless there's more news, cause it's pretty much a non-starter. Besides, I don't write about Oshawa if I can help it - I'm a bloccer, not a war correspondent. Kudos anyways to Cheap Shoalts for breaking the story and Brylcreem Jr for getting the press to write about something else than how he's getting canned for a couple days.
Other notes:
Steve Simmons Sunday brainsqueeze: If you don't think fighting in hockey can hurt somebody, take another look at Zdeno Chara's pounding of Chicago's David Koci and see if that doesn't change your mind.
Getting punched in the face hurts? Who knew? Of course, if Chara really wanted to punish Koci, he would have held him down and read Simmons' column to him.
Rick Westhead at the Star got some deserved plaudits for breaking a story that the Leafs have a vast, vast, vast fortune. Vast. However, the Tyee received much less notice for digging up a tidbit that wasn't, you know, obvious to everyone. They reported that the Peddie/Tanenbaum Axis of Evil isn't the only dictatorship supported by the Ontario Teacher's Pension Plan: They also invest heavily in Burma. Andrew Raycroft. Cultural exchange. Make it happen, Teachers!
Also in Saturday's TorStar Leafs fest was UofT dean Richard Powers' pretentious bullshit (talking about the 'market's natural competitive forces' as if the NHL wasn't a monopoly - ask Jim Balsillie) on why Leafs fans are to blame for the Leafs sucking. Apparently they should be boycotting games (ask Pirates fans how that one went) or trying to get Hamilton an NHL team, when many nights it looks like Toronto needs one too. Powers manages to demonstrate he understands economics about as well as he does hockey. The teams owners need to "step up and invest in the business of hockey" - yet the Leafs are continually at the top of the league in payroll. The problem isn't being cheap, it's being dumb. The Sabres, who reached 100 points last year with a payroll half the size, demonstrate the idiocy of Powers' argument.
Well, that about wraps it up. If we missed anything else, send it along. We've noticed that we've seen a spike in readership over the last few weeks, and we'd like to hear from you. In the spirit of Griffin and Cox, we'd like to announce our first ever COX BLOC MAILBAG! Any question about the Canadian sports media, sports, how Julianne Moore ruined Jurassic Park: The Lost World (trust me, Jorn'll bend yer ear about it) is welcome. We're also putting up links soon, so suggestions for good sites are also appreciated.
Keep watching the skies.
Seriously. I spent two hours rooting for a raptor to eat her annoying ass...