Till Bits

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The bullshit is coming fast and thick these days, so if I can't beat Simmons, I'll have to join him by inaugurating this brainsqueeze...try as I might, I couldn't think up a title to top this guy...

SEEN AND HERD

So Cox Bloc fave and all around good guy Al Strachan was touting the merits of Glenn Healy as the Leafs next GM (I wonder if Brylcreem Jr watches the Hot Stove between periods. Awkward! On second thought, he probably spends intermissions in the can doing shots of creme de menthe and reapplying his hair treatment)... the smackdown Al received from Eric Duhatschek wasn't enough to keep Professional Journalist Howard Berger from barking a hearty me too on his blog today, going so far to compare him to Brian Burke...If the Leafs want to get someone even less experienced than Brylcreem Jr to run the hockey side, I'd go for Scott Clemmensen. He too is a career backup, has no managerial training, and would be a cheap in-house solution...crystal meth is cheaper than ever these days...

ASSAULT AND BATTERY

The Star's Chris Zelkovich takes Don Cherry to task for creaming his silks over Oglethorpe-style rhubarbs yet again. It's so cute when these guys pretend Grapes can read... Steve Simmons didn't disappoint on Sunday. First off we get his summation of Igor Larionov's case, saying that based on his years in the NHL alone, he shouldn't be a candidate. Of course, it's partly based on his decade-plus as one of the top players in Russia, you say. But Simmons has got you there - so was Vladimir Krutov, and no one's arguing his Hall case. So SImmons tries to negate both ends of Larionov's career. Nice try, Steve. You wanna know why no one argues for Krutov? 34 career NHL points in one disinterested, donut filled season. Larionov in the NHL: 16 seasons, 644 points, 3 Stanley Cups, almost all after the age of 30. QE-fucking-D, Steve...Simmons also treats us to his fond memories of the good old days, when no one came to Hall of Fame press conferences... forget that the NHL needs all the good publicity it can get, Simmons wants first crack at the cheese tray, dammit.... I can't even fathom this gem, so I'll give it to you straight: "Instant replay in baseball should be used for home runs and plays at the plate, not just homers ...."....seriously, you can pick up meth downtown nowadays for five bucks that'll keep you grinding for a week....

HERCULES AND PAUL ROMA

So Landsberg is running a contest to get him some OTR clones. If you vote, you're automatically entered into a draw for a trip for two to Toronto and two tickets to a taping. Second prize is four tickets... But seriously, you know Landsberg is in trouble when the Dook of York and his cronies are scoring points off you.... Thanks to Pension Plan Puppet for passing this Starwipe gem along - apparently Kevin McGran still thinks it's last year... but he's way ahead of his Star colleague Dick Griffin, who still gets his ideas on winning baseball from Pitching in the Pinch by Christy Mathewson. Gimme five bees for a quarter, you'd say...our first mailbag will be up this week, so last chance for questions... And hey, whatever happened to my meth dealer? Guy was supposed to be here an hour ago...

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This page contains a single entry by Godd Till published on November 12, 2007 8:54 PM.

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