WTF TORONTO?
Cocks! Cancer! Cox! Lawsuits! Won't somebody think of the children!?!?!? Unfortunately, Mr Jorn and I are otherwise occupied today: myself, digging through Nick Kypreos's garbage, Kim in a raptor suit lining up for Sam Neill's John Hancock at JurParCon '07 at the Ajax Best Western.
Fear not, however, your correspondents are keeping close tabs on the stories that have racheted up the Hogtown sports pages from depressingly stupid to hilariously, deliriously batshit insane. Times like these make it tempting to go off half-Coxed, and spew whatever nauseous bile first comes to mind, but the situation demands consideration. Rational thought. Reasoned analysis. Time to construct great dick jokes - because merely good dick jokes would be a disservice to you, the reader.
If you'll permit us to cover our ass for a moment, we were well aware of the Jiri NSFW story last week; we decided it wasn't really sports journalism so we left it. Furthermore, we feel bad enough about generating links and buzz for the usual mitten-stringers, let alone some low-rent Canadian version of Perez Hilton. This is yet another reason why Kim and I will never make it journalism, cause J Jonah Toronnasun looked at the same story and saw FRONT PAGE BABY!
I gotta say, I didn't think anything was gonna bump Howard Berger getting sued by Sean Avery off the top of the hopper, but that's the kinda couple days it's been. Bear with us, cause tomorrow the gloves are coming off, and we're hitting this shit harder than Dick Griffin pummels his JP Ricciardi pillowcase. With the way the discourse is going, maybe we need to start a porn site, too. So come back tomorrow for all the snark you need, some analysis, about every butt-naked tongue showing cancer-mocking bit of it.
You've been warned.
Fear not, however, your correspondents are keeping close tabs on the stories that have racheted up the Hogtown sports pages from depressingly stupid to hilariously, deliriously batshit insane. Times like these make it tempting to go off half-Coxed, and spew whatever nauseous bile first comes to mind, but the situation demands consideration. Rational thought. Reasoned analysis. Time to construct great dick jokes - because merely good dick jokes would be a disservice to you, the reader.
If you'll permit us to cover our ass for a moment, we were well aware of the Jiri NSFW story last week; we decided it wasn't really sports journalism so we left it. Furthermore, we feel bad enough about generating links and buzz for the usual mitten-stringers, let alone some low-rent Canadian version of Perez Hilton. This is yet another reason why Kim and I will never make it journalism, cause J Jonah Toronnasun looked at the same story and saw FRONT PAGE BABY!
I gotta say, I didn't think anything was gonna bump Howard Berger getting sued by Sean Avery off the top of the hopper, but that's the kinda couple days it's been. Bear with us, cause tomorrow the gloves are coming off, and we're hitting this shit harder than Dick Griffin pummels his JP Ricciardi pillowcase. With the way the discourse is going, maybe we need to start a porn site, too. So come back tomorrow for all the snark you need, some analysis, about every butt-naked tongue showing cancer-mocking bit of it.
You've been warned.
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