Pot Meets Kettle Dept.It seems that Damien Cox isn't happy with abstractly insulting the intelligence of hockey fans, and has now decided to
do it literally:
The guvs also voted in a new schedule,
which will immediately attract new complaints as soon as the dimwitted
understand the league has effectively increased the number of games
between unfamiliar opponents at the expense of contests between rivals.
Dimwitted! Ouch!
More Preds-Sens and Oilers-Panthers, fewer Flyers-Sens and Oilers-Avalanche. Hmm. Can't wait.Now I may just be a dimwit because I think the schedule is actually deterring rivalries rather than creating and building them, but even I know that the Sens and Flyers are in different divisions and will be playing the exact same amount of games against each other next year. Durrr.
And really, who wants to see more Sens vs. Preds? In their last meeting the teams only managed to combine for 11 goals, with five in the third period, including two in the last minute. No one wants to see that kind of high-scoring, back-and-forth, exciting game. Nope, give us the Bruins and their boring-ass trap eight times a year and us dimwits will be happy.
The York Report ReportMarty York informed his readers
yesterday that he no longer works at the FAN 590 because he was too politically incorrect for the radio. AM Talk Radio, of course, is a well-known cesspool of liberal opinion and left-wing zealotry.
Luckily for Marty, his new employers allow him to tell it like it is:
Thankfully, I don't worry about that at Metro or www.metronews.ca,
where I'm paid to express my views and report what I know to hundreds
of thousands of Canadian readers without fear of reprisal.
Just in case you didn't pick up a copy of the Metro from the floor of the Subway, let me summarize Marty's no-holds-barred reporting from yesterday:
- A copy-and-paste of two paragraphs from a nearly two-week-old Tracy Ringolsby column on Fox Sports Dot Com
- Hazel Mae was voted one of the top ten sexiest sports anchors by readers of Playboy
- The Vancouver Canucks are happy that Markus Naslund is scoring goals again
Way to break the news and ruffle the feathers, Marty!
Hate, Myth, Muscle, Etiquette, BelakIt really says something about the state the Toronto rags when the best commentary I saw on the Leafs recently came from Propagandhi singer and
second-worst Canadian Chris Hannah:
A proud day in Leaf Nation
When it comes to professional hockey and
the world built around it, obedience to orthodoxy tends to rule the
day. Hilarious caricatures of swaggering chauvinism like Brian Burke
and Don Cherry are held up as hockey's most cherished personalities.
So anyone else see Toronto Maple Leafs enforcer Wade Belak on TSN responding to reporters wanting to know how Leaf players felt about a new movie entitled "Breakfast With Scot"
whose main characters are two gay men (one of who is supposed to be a
retired Leaf) trying to raise a (possibly gay) kid in a homophobic
society? How many other NHL enforcers do you see suggesting that
critics of the film "get with the times" and comparing the struggle
against homophobia to the civil rights movement and women's suffrage?
How many other NHL teams do you see giving their stamp of approval to a
film that flies in the face of professional hockey's traditionally
moronic values? The answer is of course: none. This, ladies and
gentlemen, is one of the many reasons why - despite the fact that MLSE
is indeed a most laughable and pathetic ownership among laughable and
pathetic NHL ownerships - the Leafs rule. It's called character.
We are Leaf Nation: Fragile. Inconsistent. Generally disliked and above all: righteous.
Right-the-fuck-on.
If you aren't familiar with Canada's second-greatest punk band (right behind Peterborough pioneers
Strobic Axe) click
here for some tunes and more info.
And in honour of Wade being such a progressive and thoughtful dude, check out
this classic bit of Belak brilliance from Sportsnet News.
Punk rock references from 1993? Oh happy day! Very fitting, as Cox seems to know How to Clean Everything.
I can't believe that record was released almost 15 years ago.
I feel old.