January 2008 Archives
I know its easy to pick on lists, and everyone has an opinion (that's why they publish them) but this effort from the Star is beyond useless. They get number one right, but it goes downhill in a hurry (number three is a freaking golf shot!), and the whole list reeks of being lazily slapped together in a quest to fill some page width, and seems to reflect the peccadilloes (hint: they love golf) of the Star's toy department rather than moments that captured the imagination of Toronto sports fans.
It's hard to decide what's worse: the omissions (any on-ice Leafs moment, Hogan-Warrior tearing it up at Wrestlemania VI) or the commissions (Bailey-Johnson, two horse races, Jim Freaking Furyk???).
And no one picked "April 28, 1991: Todd Stottlemyre going six innings in an 8-5 win over Baltimore," so we don't even get any leads in our ongoing investigation.
I'm sure we could do a better job, Blocheads. At the very least, we could come up with a list that includes this....
Your cherished memories in the comments, please.
This season has made for some strange twists as a fan - who would have thought it was possible to feel bad for Sean Avery, for instance? OK, I still didn't, but that was as close as I'd like to get. Nothing has been stranger than the ongoing conflict between our natural desire as fans to see the Leafs win and the realization, uglier than a skills competition featuring Mark Osborne, Brad Marsh, and Bryan Marchment, that the Leafs need to lose before it gets better, first to bring about some end to management's inertia, and now to have a shot at some of this in June.
Its led to some ugly moments. Kim, Blog Honcho and Quebec Desk Correspondent Fred Isher, and I watched the recent San Jose debacle, Tillweisers in hand. Unsure how to feel over the Leafs jumping out to a two-goal lead after 40 excellent minutes of hockey, we jokingly consoled ourselves with the knowledge that the Leafs would find a way to blow it in the third. Of course, Kim and I still felt like crap when they did, and had to console ourselves by taking apart the Habs on my copy of NHL 06, the only venue on earth where Jason Allison and Jeff O'Neill were useful that year, much to Mr Isher's chagrin. The PS2 don't lie, Fred!*
I had a similar moment watching the game against Washington. Having watched us give away yet another third period, I was content for us to lose at Whack-A-Mole and cross another necessary 0 points off the schedule. And then Sundin took the wheel. Charging in at the end of a rush, blowing by the much-younger game-tying goal scorer Alex Semin (and showing him what playing 60 minutes is all about in the process) and banging in an admittedly Raycroftian rebound to tie Rocket Richard on the all-time goals list and give the Leafs a win. I stood up and cheered. And dammit, it felt great.
And this is the guy we want to trade?
Yes, it's one of the rare times when seemingly 99% of the fans and 100% of the mittenstringers agree. Sundin has to be dealt for assets to help the team rebuild. This has culminated in the farce of Sundin being constantly badgered about whether he wants to go, columns about Mats 'doing what's right for the Leafs' and taking a deal only to return again next year, the crowning glory being the Star's article inviting former GMs and wannabes to speculate about what they could get for Sundin, proving that many of them can't even make a good fake deal (I'm looking at you, Milbury). Meanwhile, Mats continues to bust his ass and be one of the only players worth watching most nights on a team that appears to take its cues on competitiveness and fight from Spencer Rice.
David Johnson has already laid out the rational case for keeping Mats. I want to make the fan's case. Fact is, and a fact Leafs fans should already know by now, is that some things are just as important as winning and losing. As our captain, we have a no doubt Hall of Famer still scoring, hustling, setting an example all over the ice. A guy who has committed to Toronto time and time again, the one person of unimpeachable class and dignity under pressure throughout the long embarassment of the last half decade (well, him and Andy Frost). We're going to suck badly enough over the next few years - should we do it without Mats? Aside from (hopefully) the thrill of watching prospects develop, watching Sundin finish up his career as a Leaf is one of the very few pleasures we have to look forward to over the next few seasons. That and Ottawa and Montreal's annual springtime bedshittery, natch.
The other day, I was sitting at home at the computer when my dog (named after an underachieving Leaf - don't all raise your hands at once!) started barking at the door, as he does whenever the neighbours across the hall are coming and going. Unbeknowst to me, however, they were taking care of a friend's dog, who had busted through my only partially closed door. (Hey, I can't let Michael Moore down). This big bulldog cross burst in, my dog freaks out, and the neighbour chases it while I let out a startled yelp, the kind Woz makes when someone passes him the puck. Not exactly how Tom Berenger would have handled it, you know?.
The point is, I feel like a loser enough of the time anyways. I don't need to be sitting in front of the TV in June, cheering for Mats to win the cup for Detroit or San Jose or someone. You know who that's for? Bruins fans. Well, fuck that. If we're gonna suck, and we are, I want Mats to be there, the shining star atop the sea of crap, the guy who loved the city and the team so much he chose to stay instead of bolting town for a cheap shortcut at a ring. The guy I can look at through the next couple years of losing to Florida and Carolina and say "there's the best Maple Leaf I've ever seen."
Still not convinced? How about this: Bryan McCabe, (C).
*In case you were wondering, I'm pretty good but no this guy. Although, come to think of it, he plays as Chicago and doesn't even roll four lines. Yeah, I could take him.
Quote of the Week
"Everybody says the Toronto media is tough. Well, there's a couple of jerks here. By and large, most of the people here are fair. The team plays well and they write that. The team plays poorly and they write that. That's their job."
- Leafs GM-in-waiting Brian Burke gets it half right. But, only a couple? We have our guesses, but we want names Brian!
All Cox, All the time
The surprise of the week was definitely Steve Simmons Tuesday column, when, unlike another local writer, he seemed to have an inkling that FJF's firing was imminent. Simmons' piece was an insightful look at JFJ's reign of error, examining pretty much every move that Fergie made over the past five years and how they resulted in both Fergie's demise, and the Leafs' current predicament. We've given Simmons the gears once or twice in the past, so it is only fair that we give him credit when it is due.
Damien Cox, on the other hand, made us wait until Friday for his final thoughts on the Brylcreem Regime. And true to form, his analysis dealt little with Ferg and mostly with criticism of the Fletcher hiring and nine paragraphs (of 12 total) trashing Darcy Tucker. This snippet sums up Cox's output for the week:
Give Ferguson the Fletcher treatment, and all you'd hear about is how cheap the Leafs got Tomas Kaberle for, or how wise it was to hang on to Nik Antropov, or how under his watch the Leafs have again become a team sporting significant numbers of drafted players.
I'll say this again, because I don't think Damien gets it. Cliff Fletcher is getting the "Cliff Fletcher treatment" because, regardless of his bad moves as Leafs GM, he pulled off the two greatest trades in the history of the Toronto Maple Leafs. If the Leafs are so fucked in ten years that they decide it would be a good idea to bring Fergie back for another run, the best that anyone could say about him is that he signed Kabs and Antro on the cheap, and let Andy Wosniewski on the ice. See a difference here? You must? You have to? Why don't you?
Who asked you anyway?
Ringless NHL coach and former TSN talking head Mike Babcock has identified the real villain in the horror-show that is the current Leaf's team:
"Everybody says the Toronto media is tough. Well, there's a couple of jerks here. By and large, most of the people here are fair. The team plays well and they write that. The team plays poorly and they write that. That's their job."
- Leafs GM-in-waiting Brian Burke gets it half right. But, only a couple? We have our guesses, but we want names Brian!
All Cox, All the time
The surprise of the week was definitely Steve Simmons Tuesday column, when, unlike another local writer, he seemed to have an inkling that FJF's firing was imminent. Simmons' piece was an insightful look at JFJ's reign of error, examining pretty much every move that Fergie made over the past five years and how they resulted in both Fergie's demise, and the Leafs' current predicament. We've given Simmons the gears once or twice in the past, so it is only fair that we give him credit when it is due.
Damien Cox, on the other hand, made us wait until Friday for his final thoughts on the Brylcreem Regime. And true to form, his analysis dealt little with Ferg and mostly with criticism of the Fletcher hiring and nine paragraphs (of 12 total) trashing Darcy Tucker. This snippet sums up Cox's output for the week:
Give Ferguson the Fletcher treatment, and all you'd hear about is how cheap the Leafs got Tomas Kaberle for, or how wise it was to hang on to Nik Antropov, or how under his watch the Leafs have again become a team sporting significant numbers of drafted players.
I'll say this again, because I don't think Damien gets it. Cliff Fletcher is getting the "Cliff Fletcher treatment" because, regardless of his bad moves as Leafs GM, he pulled off the two greatest trades in the history of the Toronto Maple Leafs. If the Leafs are so fucked in ten years that they decide it would be a good idea to bring Fergie back for another run, the best that anyone could say about him is that he signed Kabs and Antro on the cheap, and let Andy Wosniewski on the ice. See a difference here? You must? You have to? Why don't you?
Who asked you anyway?
Ringless NHL coach and former TSN talking head Mike Babcock has identified the real villain in the horror-show that is the current Leaf's team:
"When you go to a franchise and it's not a good one, I don't know if you have to blow it up, but you sure got to take every opportunity to do that," he said.
"What happens in Leafland is they won't allow you to do that. The reason ... is they have probably the most ravenous fans in the world ... and the fans want you to turn it around this year. They can't understand that ... you've got to rebuild it. That means drafting and that means trading away these players that you love and getting draft picks."
I hope he said this very slowly so that us dumb-shit Leafs can understand. We need to...rebuild? Draft picks? Trading away players? Thanks Mike, because I thought we were going to win the Stanley Cup this year. I guess I can take that $800 I was going to spend on playoff tickets and put it on the Red Wings losing to the 8th seed in the first round again this year.
Jesus, Damien, could you give us five #$I*@& minutes here? We're dealing with the aftermath of the bloodbath the mittenstringers have bayed for all year here, a story so big we have Working Class Howard analyzing Dick Peddie's press conference lip-syncing like the Zapruder film and the Star pulling Feschuk over to prove why he really gets paid to write about basketball. And yet, we're still talking about DC Talk, aren't we?
That's because the Omen has DOMINATED this week. In a week which exposed the mittenstringer feeding frenzy at its lowest ebb (my favourite touch - the self-righteous columns about how MLSE is mistreating Brylcreem Jr and embarrassing his family written by those who've demanded his head on a platter the last few years) Damien has proved why his is the name we do business under here.
Not to be put off by his "DEWEY DEFEATS TRUMAN" whoopsie to start the week, Cox has been throwing heat the rest of the week. He acts as if he's upset about the Fletcher hiring, but judging from his output, he must secretly be ecstatic. Apparently the Silver Fox left Toronto in '96 without returning Damien's Third Eye Blind CD or something, because you can't read anything Damien writes without hearing a massive axe grinding away in the background.
Now, it's completely reasonable to criticize the Fletcher move. The whole affair was conducted about as smoothly as a Make-A-Wish breakout pass, and though I thought he said, or at least Vanillied, the right things at the presser, Fletcher is well past his prime and coming off a tenure in Phoenix that was not exactly sterling. On the other hand, he is an interim guy with great contacts and a good reputation, perfect for bringing in the next guy, and he has returned respectability to the Leafs once during my fandom, acquiring the two greatest Leafs I've ever seen in ridiculously lopsided trades. So yeah, you could go either way.
However, just cause there is a good argument against the Fletcher hire, an intellectually honest one, doesn't mean Cox is going to make it. The grandstanding at the press conference aside, his writings on Fletcher have been filled with distortions of his record, and to be honest, are embarrassing. Varry Galk has already pointed out the pathetic attempt to recast the Gartner for Anderson trade as Fletch getting fleeced; acquiring 2-time 50 goal scorer Dave Andreychuk, for a redundant Grant Fuhr was throwing away the future on 'short-term' help (that took the team to the conference finals those first two years); and castigating him for the terrible Wendel reacquisition without mentioning the board interference that led to the deal. On the internet, this is called "trolling."
The best was saved for today, when Damien, apparently drunk with imaginary power, published a pdf (I felt like a real executive) on the Star's website of who the Leafs should get as GM (apparently JFJ's lack of experience was a problem, but not Patrick Roy or Mark Messier), referred to Fletcher in his mailbag as "Mr Draft Schmaft" (leave the childish nicknames to the pros), and topped it all of with this:
I agree. I hear people say the Toronto media is part of the problem, but I really think we - TV, radio and print - are, as you say, a rather forgiving lot. Moreover, if people want to blame the media for being an influential part of the Leaf failures, well, they better carve our names on the Cup if the drought ever ends.
And if Britney ever puts down the blow and wins a Lifetime Achievment Grammy, the first thing she should do is thank the paparazzi.
That's because the Omen has DOMINATED this week. In a week which exposed the mittenstringer feeding frenzy at its lowest ebb (my favourite touch - the self-righteous columns about how MLSE is mistreating Brylcreem Jr and embarrassing his family written by those who've demanded his head on a platter the last few years) Damien has proved why his is the name we do business under here.
Not to be put off by his "DEWEY DEFEATS TRUMAN" whoopsie to start the week, Cox has been throwing heat the rest of the week. He acts as if he's upset about the Fletcher hiring, but judging from his output, he must secretly be ecstatic. Apparently the Silver Fox left Toronto in '96 without returning Damien's Third Eye Blind CD or something, because you can't read anything Damien writes without hearing a massive axe grinding away in the background.
Now, it's completely reasonable to criticize the Fletcher move. The whole affair was conducted about as smoothly as a Make-A-Wish breakout pass, and though I thought he said, or at least Vanillied, the right things at the presser, Fletcher is well past his prime and coming off a tenure in Phoenix that was not exactly sterling. On the other hand, he is an interim guy with great contacts and a good reputation, perfect for bringing in the next guy, and he has returned respectability to the Leafs once during my fandom, acquiring the two greatest Leafs I've ever seen in ridiculously lopsided trades. So yeah, you could go either way.
However, just cause there is a good argument against the Fletcher hire, an intellectually honest one, doesn't mean Cox is going to make it. The grandstanding at the press conference aside, his writings on Fletcher have been filled with distortions of his record, and to be honest, are embarrassing. Varry Galk has already pointed out the pathetic attempt to recast the Gartner for Anderson trade as Fletch getting fleeced; acquiring 2-time 50 goal scorer Dave Andreychuk, for a redundant Grant Fuhr was throwing away the future on 'short-term' help (that took the team to the conference finals those first two years); and castigating him for the terrible Wendel reacquisition without mentioning the board interference that led to the deal. On the internet, this is called "trolling."
The best was saved for today, when Damien, apparently drunk with imaginary power, published a pdf (I felt like a real executive) on the Star's website of who the Leafs should get as GM (apparently JFJ's lack of experience was a problem, but not Patrick Roy or Mark Messier), referred to Fletcher in his mailbag as "Mr Draft Schmaft" (leave the childish nicknames to the pros), and topped it all of with this:
I agree. I hear people say the Toronto media is part of the problem, but I really think we - TV, radio and print - are, as you say, a rather forgiving lot. Moreover, if people want to blame the media for being an influential part of the Leaf failures, well, they better carve our names on the Cup if the drought ever ends.
And if Britney ever puts down the blow and wins a Lifetime Achievment Grammy, the first thing she should do is thank the paparazzi.
...Damien Cox.
It is over folks.* No matter how many injuries Simmons invents, no matter how much Working Class Howard smashes the state, no one is catching Cox this year. No way. Not after the day he had today.
Cox's Diei Horribilis really started sometime yesterday when he submitted his column for today's Star. The leading hockey columnist at the biggest paper in the largest hockey market in the the known universe went to print with a column about the Leafs endless dithering over a management change on the very morning that the Leafs ... uh ... made a management change. Talk about having your finger on the pulse! If this whole sports columnist thing doesn't work out, Cox might be able to find work as a pollster in New Hampshire.
Cox wasn't content with just being completely, 100%, absolubadubadably wrong about the immediate future of the Leafs. Nope, he also felt the need to get in a low-blow on Toronto Football Club as well:
Not MLSE, however, and not the Leafs. The arrogance of these people knows no bounds. They think because they can sell condos and sucker people into watching a horrific expansion soccer team that they know the right way to get things done in the hockey world.
Pension Plan Puppets (on the ball all day today, with four posts, including a live blog of today's presser, while being featured on Mirtle's blog to boot) did an amazing job of tearing Cox a new one for this ridiculous insult to the passionate fans of TFC:
Damien has absolutely no clue about what being a fan means. No wonder he hates MLSE so much. In his world, you would ignore a sport until the championship was on the verge of being awarded and then you'd cheer for the team most likely to win.
Exactly. The betting here says that Damien likes the Pats chances in the Super Bowl this year. Be sure to check out the rest of PPP's destruction of Damien here. There isn't much I can add to this, but I would like to take the opportunity to dig one of Mr. Till's gems from the Cox Bloc vault. This one comes from last August, when Cox ridiculed fans of TFC for drinking MLSE's kool-aid:
The lunacy of this column, in which Cox castigates a first year expansion team, with five starters injured, for its lack of success, boggles.
Imagine if he'd been around way back in '77...
"Yesterday, the visiting Boston Red Sox hammered the Blue Jays 11-4 at Exhibition Stadium. The Jays dropped to 23-48 in front of 25 000 deluded baseballists who must be too stupid to realize how crappy this team is."
It just goes to show that Cox is, amongst other things, consistent.
This dedication to consistency might explain why Cox didn't use his blog this morning to issue a Mea Culpa, along the lines of "Holy fucking shit, did I mess up in my column this morning. Don't I look like a tool." Instead, Cox continuedto be to go on the offensive, with a withering indictment of Cliff Fletcher's record during his first stint as Leafs GM.
Many of us remember the string of assorted deals that Fletcher made that eventually resulted in Doug Gilmour, Grant Fuhr, and Dave Andreychuk coming to the Leafs. Many of us also remember that these trades were a major reason why the Leafs made it to two Conference Finals and were one MFing Kerry Fraser away from a Stanley Cup Final. Sure, many of us remember that, but what Damien remembers is that those trades cost the Leafs Vincent Damphousse, Luke Richardson, and Scott Thornton (aka, the Three Keys to Stanley Cup Glory, apparently).
Oddly enough, a man who wrote a column just three weeks ago advocating that the Leafs follow the Flyers blueprint for a quick rebuild, is adamantly opposed to the hiring of Fletcher, who quickly and successfully rebuilt the moribund Leafs in the early 90s with one of the shrewdest trades in NHL history. Fletcher also demonstrated an ability to rid the Leafs of aging veterans for young stars and key parts (Clark for Sundin, Gilmour for Smith and McCauley). Do you think those skills might come in handy if the Leafs are to attempt a Philly-style turnaround?
Cox topped off his day with a stellar performance at this afternoon's press conference. After Fletcher answered a question about Sundin's future by saying that the team needed to do right by Mats, Cox jumped in with this follow-up:
You said the most important thing is to do what's right for Mats. Isn't the most important thing to do what's right for the Toronto Maple Leafs first, ahead of Mats?
Oooohhh! Gotcha there Cliffy. What do you have to say to that:
That's right Damien, but Mats is driving the engine here. He's an unrestricted free agent at the end of the year, and he has a no trade clause.
Huh? Facts? The reality of the situation? A truthful answer to a pathetically obvious question that amounted to nothing more than Cox grandstanding before his mittenstrung peers? An answer that translates simply to: "Are you some kind of moron?"
I have a hard time believing that Cox didn't already know the answer to his question, but considering this comes from the man who started the day chastising the Leafs for waiting until next week to fire Fergie, anything is possible. Don't forget, we're dealing with the 2008 Mittenstringer of the Year here.
*Note - We're going to have to come up with some sort of second-tier MOY award to keep things interesting. Maybe an Intercontinental Mittenstringer Championship, or something...we don't want Simmons and the rest of them going easy on the crazy this year since there is nothing left to play for. Especially Simmons, who tried to give up his crown today by writing a good column in the Sun and by grilling Peddie at the presser. We expect better (well, worse, truthfully) of you Steve.
It is over folks.* No matter how many injuries Simmons invents, no matter how much Working Class Howard smashes the state, no one is catching Cox this year. No way. Not after the day he had today.
Cox's Diei Horribilis really started sometime yesterday when he submitted his column for today's Star. The leading hockey columnist at the biggest paper in the largest hockey market in the the known universe went to print with a column about the Leafs endless dithering over a management change on the very morning that the Leafs ... uh ... made a management change. Talk about having your finger on the pulse! If this whole sports columnist thing doesn't work out, Cox might be able to find work as a pollster in New Hampshire.
Cox wasn't content with just being completely, 100%, absolubadubadably wrong about the immediate future of the Leafs. Nope, he also felt the need to get in a low-blow on Toronto Football Club as well:
Not MLSE, however, and not the Leafs. The arrogance of these people knows no bounds. They think because they can sell condos and sucker people into watching a horrific expansion soccer team that they know the right way to get things done in the hockey world.
Pension Plan Puppets (on the ball all day today, with four posts, including a live blog of today's presser, while being featured on Mirtle's blog to boot) did an amazing job of tearing Cox a new one for this ridiculous insult to the passionate fans of TFC:
Damien has absolutely no clue about what being a fan means. No wonder he hates MLSE so much. In his world, you would ignore a sport until the championship was on the verge of being awarded and then you'd cheer for the team most likely to win.
Exactly. The betting here says that Damien likes the Pats chances in the Super Bowl this year. Be sure to check out the rest of PPP's destruction of Damien here. There isn't much I can add to this, but I would like to take the opportunity to dig one of Mr. Till's gems from the Cox Bloc vault. This one comes from last August, when Cox ridiculed fans of TFC for drinking MLSE's kool-aid:
The lunacy of this column, in which Cox castigates a first year expansion team, with five starters injured, for its lack of success, boggles.
Imagine if he'd been around way back in '77...
"Yesterday, the visiting Boston Red Sox hammered the Blue Jays 11-4 at Exhibition Stadium. The Jays dropped to 23-48 in front of 25 000 deluded baseballists who must be too stupid to realize how crappy this team is."
It just goes to show that Cox is, amongst other things, consistent.
This dedication to consistency might explain why Cox didn't use his blog this morning to issue a Mea Culpa, along the lines of "Holy fucking shit, did I mess up in my column this morning. Don't I look like a tool." Instead, Cox continued
Many of us remember the string of assorted deals that Fletcher made that eventually resulted in Doug Gilmour, Grant Fuhr, and Dave Andreychuk coming to the Leafs. Many of us also remember that these trades were a major reason why the Leafs made it to two Conference Finals and were one MFing Kerry Fraser away from a Stanley Cup Final. Sure, many of us remember that, but what Damien remembers is that those trades cost the Leafs Vincent Damphousse, Luke Richardson, and Scott Thornton (aka, the Three Keys to Stanley Cup Glory, apparently).
Oddly enough, a man who wrote a column just three weeks ago advocating that the Leafs follow the Flyers blueprint for a quick rebuild, is adamantly opposed to the hiring of Fletcher, who quickly and successfully rebuilt the moribund Leafs in the early 90s with one of the shrewdest trades in NHL history. Fletcher also demonstrated an ability to rid the Leafs of aging veterans for young stars and key parts (Clark for Sundin, Gilmour for Smith and McCauley). Do you think those skills might come in handy if the Leafs are to attempt a Philly-style turnaround?
Cox topped off his day with a stellar performance at this afternoon's press conference. After Fletcher answered a question about Sundin's future by saying that the team needed to do right by Mats, Cox jumped in with this follow-up:
You said the most important thing is to do what's right for Mats. Isn't the most important thing to do what's right for the Toronto Maple Leafs first, ahead of Mats?
Oooohhh! Gotcha there Cliffy. What do you have to say to that:
That's right Damien, but Mats is driving the engine here. He's an unrestricted free agent at the end of the year, and he has a no trade clause.
Huh? Facts? The reality of the situation? A truthful answer to a pathetically obvious question that amounted to nothing more than Cox grandstanding before his mittenstrung peers? An answer that translates simply to: "Are you some kind of moron?"
I have a hard time believing that Cox didn't already know the answer to his question, but considering this comes from the man who started the day chastising the Leafs for waiting until next week to fire Fergie, anything is possible. Don't forget, we're dealing with the 2008 Mittenstringer of the Year here.
*Note - We're going to have to come up with some sort of second-tier MOY award to keep things interesting. Maybe an Intercontinental Mittenstringer Championship, or something...we don't want Simmons and the rest of them going easy on the crazy this year since there is nothing left to play for. Especially Simmons, who tried to give up his crown today by writing a good column in the Sun and by grilling Peddie at the presser. We expect better (well, worse, truthfully) of you Steve.
In honour of our blog's appearance in the Internet's finest repository of WoW lore and Who's The Boss? episode recaps (hint: we're in the entry for a popular hair treatment; not Dapper Dan), I was looking up various Leafs arcana and came across this:
Toronto Maple Leafs draft picks
It's probably best that a young child can't open her browser and innocently stumble upon the picks of Ware, Thornton, and Convery*. No, they should learn their Leafs lore the way we all did: wafted out on gusts of Export A smoke by bitter old drunks.
It's looking like Back to the Future in Leafs land anyways (according to Working Class Howard, Operation Silver Fox II: Tanned, Rested, and Ready is all but concluded), so be prepared for more outrageously slanted articles like the one from Cox last week about Mike Murphy and "Draft schmaft" (anyone who can provide the actual context for that oft-misused quote wins a Dan Marois rookie card) that conveniently leave out that Fletcher made three or four of the best trades of my lifetime and hired a great coach. Not saying this latest trip in the DeLorean is a great idea, just saying that where the Leafs are going, you don't need roads. Just barf bags.
*Ahhh, Brandon Convery. I was so convinced he would be good. Where did it go wrong? According to Wiki, after being waived by the Kings in '99, he played four years in Switzerland and one in Sweden before retiring. Part of me still believes he just needs a bit more power play time to turn it around.
So far this week we've seen two members of the BBWAA's Toronto chapter publicly announce that they did not cast the infamous Todd Stottlemyre Hall of Fame vote. Surprisingly, Steve Simmons was the first to shout "not it" in his Sunday Brainsqueeze:
... Okay, fess up, which Toronto homer voted for Todd Stottlemyre on their Hall of Fame ballot? And should that man or woman be allowed to vote any more? ...
Now, the only reason that we're sure a different Steve Simmons didn't actually cast a ballot for Todd Stottlemyre is that none of the Steve Simmonses are actually eligible to vote. While Simmons is a member of the BBWAA, he has not accumulated the ten years of membership required to cast a Hall of Fame vote. We'll have to wait until 2012 before he is allowed to mark a ballot. Which should be a treat, and means that Josh Towers might get a vote if he ever becomes eligible for the Hall.
Less surprisingly, Jeff Blair took himself out if the running in his Globe Blog on Monday:
And, as an aside to the person on coxbloc who wanted to know if I voted for Todd Stottlemyre ....
So, two down, 15 to go. The following is a list of the members of the BBWAA Toronto chapter who were eligible to vote for this year's class:
Pierre Ladouceur La Presse
Serge Touchette Journal de Montreal
Bob Elliott Toronto Sun
Allan Ryan Toronto Star
Ken Fidlin Toronto Sun
Dave Perkins Toronto Star
Steve Milton Hamilton Spectator
Jeff Blair Globe and Mail
Bill Lankhof Toronto Sun
Stephen Brunt Globe and Mail
Mike Rutsey Toronto Sun
Jack Todd Montreal Gazette
Richard Griffin Toronto Star
Mark Zwolinski Toronto Star
Wayne Scanlan Ottawa Citizen
We can probably eliminate the three Montreal writers, since the "homerism" that likely resulted in the Stottlemyre vote isn't at play. The Ottawa writers stay in the mix because, well, they're from Ottawa, where disrespecting the voting process is a way of life. Blair has already pleaded not guilty, and if Brunt cast that vote, well then my name isn't Kim Jorn.
So, that leaves ten possibilities:
Bob Elliott Toronto Sun
Allan Ryan Toronto Star
Ken Fidlin Toronto Sun
Dave Perkins Toronto Star
Steve Milton Hamilton Spectator
Bill Lankhof Toronto Sun
Mike Rutsey Toronto Sun
Richard Griffin Toronto Star
Mark Zwolinski Toronto Star
Wayne Scanlan Ottawa Citizen
(There is a slight possibility that it may have been someone outside of Toronto. Maybe George King thought he was voting for Mel Stottlemyre. Maybe a writer in one of the other cities where Stottlemyre pitched decided to throw him a bone. Turns out I don't write for a blog that chronicles the foibles of the Phoenix sports media, so I'm sticking with the local boys.)
Some of you may wonder why I keep harping on this subject. So what if some writer gave Todd a vote because he seems like a great guy who worked hard? It isn't like he'll actually get in the Hall? Well, I say, what if 400 other BBWAA writers decided to cast a "nice guy" vote for Todd. He'd be heading to Cooperstown. Impossible? Uh-uh. That's how Bob Rae became Premier of Ontario. And look how that worked out.
This is important stuff. We need to find out who did this and publicly shame them. And we need to do it quick. Rosie DiManno gets a Hall of Fame vote in 2017 and we have to make sure that she knows this type of crazines will not be tolerated when it comes to enshrining people in the only Hall of Fame that matters.
... Okay, fess up, which Toronto homer voted for Todd Stottlemyre on their Hall of Fame ballot? And should that man or woman be allowed to vote any more? ...
Now, the only reason that we're sure a different Steve Simmons didn't actually cast a ballot for Todd Stottlemyre is that none of the Steve Simmonses are actually eligible to vote. While Simmons is a member of the BBWAA, he has not accumulated the ten years of membership required to cast a Hall of Fame vote. We'll have to wait until 2012 before he is allowed to mark a ballot. Which should be a treat, and means that Josh Towers might get a vote if he ever becomes eligible for the Hall.
Less surprisingly, Jeff Blair took himself out if the running in his Globe Blog on Monday:
And, as an aside to the person on coxbloc who wanted to know if I voted for Todd Stottlemyre ....
GIVE ME A FRIGGIN' BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~!
No hard feelings Jeff. We never really believed it was you.So, two down, 15 to go. The following is a list of the members of the BBWAA Toronto chapter who were eligible to vote for this year's class:
Pierre Ladouceur La Presse
Serge Touchette Journal de Montreal
Bob Elliott Toronto Sun
Allan Ryan Toronto Star
Ken Fidlin Toronto Sun
Dave Perkins Toronto Star
Steve Milton Hamilton Spectator
Jeff Blair Globe and Mail
Bill Lankhof Toronto Sun
Stephen Brunt Globe and Mail
Mike Rutsey Toronto Sun
Jack Todd Montreal Gazette
Richard Griffin Toronto Star
Mark Zwolinski Toronto Star
Wayne Scanlan Ottawa Citizen
We can probably eliminate the three Montreal writers, since the "homerism" that likely resulted in the Stottlemyre vote isn't at play. The Ottawa writers stay in the mix because, well, they're from Ottawa, where disrespecting the voting process is a way of life. Blair has already pleaded not guilty, and if Brunt cast that vote, well then my name isn't Kim Jorn.
So, that leaves ten possibilities:
Bob Elliott Toronto Sun
Allan Ryan Toronto Star
Ken Fidlin Toronto Sun
Dave Perkins Toronto Star
Steve Milton Hamilton Spectator
Bill Lankhof Toronto Sun
Mike Rutsey Toronto Sun
Richard Griffin Toronto Star
Mark Zwolinski Toronto Star
Wayne Scanlan Ottawa Citizen
(There is a slight possibility that it may have been someone outside of Toronto. Maybe George King thought he was voting for Mel Stottlemyre. Maybe a writer in one of the other cities where Stottlemyre pitched decided to throw him a bone. Turns out I don't write for a blog that chronicles the foibles of the Phoenix sports media, so I'm sticking with the local boys.)
Some of you may wonder why I keep harping on this subject. So what if some writer gave Todd a vote because he seems like a great guy who worked hard? It isn't like he'll actually get in the Hall? Well, I say, what if 400 other BBWAA writers decided to cast a "nice guy" vote for Todd. He'd be heading to Cooperstown. Impossible? Uh-uh. That's how Bob Rae became Premier of Ontario. And look how that worked out.
This is important stuff. We need to find out who did this and publicly shame them. And we need to do it quick. Rosie DiManno gets a Hall of Fame vote in 2017 and we have to make sure that she knows this type of crazines will not be tolerated when it comes to enshrining people in the only Hall of Fame that matters.
We here at the Cox Bloc usually enjoy the work of media watchdog and all-around Unblinking Eye William Houston (he's like Cox Bloc + reputation and contacts - tasteless jokes and snark). But yesterday, he dragged an old dead horses out for its yearly flogging:
The time is probably right for Hockey Night in Canada to stop giving the Toronto Maple Leafs countrywide distribution. Through the end of the NHL's regular season, Hockey Night should be thinking about featuring the Ottawa Senators nationally on the 7 p.m. EST telecast.
The Leafs have taken precedence on Hockey Night for years, but as a non-playoff team currently second last in the Eastern Conference, they're contributing little to the telecasts. What's more, Hockey Night will be counting on the Senators, the top team in the Eastern Conference, to deliver substantial playoff audiences.
That won't happen unless the Canadian audience is given an opportunity to connect with the Senators in the regular season.
The problem for Hockey Night's network, the CBC, is that, among the six Canadian NHL teams, the Leafs produce the largest audiences.
"In television, you want immediate results," a TV source said. "But in
this case, the CBC should probably suffer in the short term for
long-term gains. Ottawa is going to be the CBC's bread and butter in
the playoffs, not Toronto."
In essence, he's advocating the Corpse turn HNIC into a bigger-budget version of its other shows - niche television that has to be consistently rammed down our throats in order to produce a respectable audience share. Ladies and gentlemen, your Ottawa Senators - the J-Pod of the NHL!
It's hard to see how this could be productive for the CBC. Canadians certainly had ample opportunity to "connect" with the Senators last year during their run to the Stanley Cup Finals. The Senators did poor numbers then. Why would an essentially unchanged team do any better now? Houston points out that ratings for Senators-Wings were almost comparable to Leafs ratings, even with playoff football on. However, a Sens-Wings matchup is a marquee matchup of the two best teams in the league. Will neutrals tune in to see Ottawa-Boston? And isn't it possible the Sens' ratings were higher than usual cause it was the lead-in to a Leafs game? That's certainly why I had it on.
Switching out the Leafs also might not go over well with Hockey Night advertisers. The chance to connect with a fanatically loyal fanbase which consumes the product with dedication and verve no matter how vile it tastes and how sick it makes you: that's gotta be Molson's target audience right there.
And if CBC does put all its eggs in the black-and-red basket they'd certainly end up with them all over their face if Ottawa collapses in the early rounds of the playoffs. Nahh, that couldn't happen.
In the past five years, Ontario has lost around 200, 000 manufacturing jobs. That's about two-and-a-half Peterboroughs worth of jobs that have gone and ain't coming back. If you're surprised by these numbers, it's probably cause the lead issue in the last Ontario election was freaking private religious schools. Who was running John Tory's campaign, Brylcreem Jr?
Anyways, if it's not bad enough that the economies to the South are siphoning off the traditional base of Ontario's prosperity, the Michiganders (or 'Goobacks') have decided to carpetbag our glamorous, non-paying sports media criticism blog industry. Check out George James's Malik's hatchet job on Working Class Howard's coverage of the Bowman saga that appeared on Michigan Live this weekend:
Actually, and luckily for us, that's as good as Malik gets. His next fifty-odd blog posts on the Bowman saga (bashing Cox, Simmons, Dreger, and more! Jeebus! that shames our productivity in this socialist backwater) indicate we should only be worried if we ran an MSM Red Wings shill blog which acts as if their honour has been impugned by anyone suggesting that Scotty Bowman would want to leave the third or fourth most important shinny nation's "Hockeytown" for the biggest job in the NHL. A position, that despite George's bluster to the contrary, Scotty undeniably has been interested in, and judging by his game of footsie with Ron Maclean Saturday night, still has some interest in. But he did call Toronto the "Laffs", so +10 for originality there! For now, we are not closing down the plant or laying anyone off. But send money anyway.
Howard has taken the high road. His bizarre blog entry Saturday chastised media and fans for obsessing over the JFJ saga, and took the time to remind us what's Really Important:
But, don't we all get just a little carried away with this stuff? Is it really quite as important and all-consuming as we make it out to be? ....
we still go way overboard.
Somehow, that wasn't good enough for Peddie, who chose the status quo over Bowman. That being consecutive playoff misses and a four-decades-long Stanley Cup famine.
DING DING DING!
I believe we have our much-longer-awaited-than-I-thought-possible winner of the 1967 Contest! Come on down!
Anyways, if it's not bad enough that the economies to the South are siphoning off the traditional base of Ontario's prosperity, the Michiganders (or 'Goobacks') have decided to carpetbag our glamorous, non-paying sports media criticism blog industry. Check out George James's Malik's hatchet job on Working Class Howard's coverage of the Bowman saga that appeared on Michigan Live this weekend:
That "seems" to be a ridiculous amount of assumption by Berger, who's a "jock" on Toronto's almost-all-Leaf talk station, The Fan 590, and the paragon of upstanding journalism that is Hockeybuzz. Bowman indicated that he's happy with and loyal to the Red Wings, and he did not state, at any point, that he was "poised" to take on any sort of position with the Maple Leafs.
The BS about Larionov wanting to coach, as indicated by Larionov
himself, is a load, and the concept that the board of Maple Leaf Sports
and Entertainment would give anyone any sort of autonomy--they haven't
done so for Ferguson, and they didn't do so for Pat Quinn. MLSE's board
has not indicated that it's in any way, shape, or form interested in
any sort of change, never mind "dramatic" change.
Actually, and luckily for us, that's as good as Malik gets. His next fifty-odd blog posts on the Bowman saga (bashing Cox, Simmons, Dreger, and more! Jeebus! that shames our productivity in this socialist backwater) indicate we should only be worried if we ran an MSM Red Wings shill blog which acts as if their honour has been impugned by anyone suggesting that Scotty Bowman would want to leave the third or fourth most important shinny nation's "Hockeytown" for the biggest job in the NHL. A position, that despite George's bluster to the contrary, Scotty undeniably has been interested in, and judging by his game of footsie with Ron Maclean Saturday night, still has some interest in. But he did call Toronto the "Laffs", so +10 for originality there! For now, we are not closing down the plant or laying anyone off. But send money anyway.
Howard has taken the high road. His bizarre blog entry Saturday chastised media and fans for obsessing over the JFJ saga, and took the time to remind us what's Really Important:
But, don't we all get just a little carried away with this stuff? Is it really quite as important and all-consuming as we make it out to be? ....
we still go way overboard.
Okay, so John Ferguson is on the hot seat. Richard Peddie has never met a camera, notepad or microphone that he doesn't like. The proprietors of Maple Leaf Sports & Entertainment seem incapable of making a prudent hockey decision. Or any notable decision pertaining to the Blue & White. And, yes, the Leafs are sliding towards playoff oblivion once again.
But, two miles north of the Air Canada Centre, children are dying of cancer.
Perhaps we should remind ourselves of that every so often.
Okay, sure Howard, there are many, many, more important things than how the Leafs do. But this is a bit rich from someone who makes a handsome living (enough to afford $150 Cowboys tickets - you saw that coming, didn't you?) fanning the flames of human interest in the Maple Leafs. Howard, if you think your job is that unimportant in the grand scheme of things, quit. There are many other important and worthwhile things to do with your time. Hell, there's more important sportswriting you could be doing, about the fever pitch of Leafs fandom and the possibly unhealthy and distracting role it plays in out culture. But don't keep cashing your checks for doing the same old mittenstringing 51 weeks a year and then try to salve your conscience and download guilt onto your readership by writing this patronizing nonsense.
Somehow, that wasn't good enough for Peddie, who chose the status quo over Bowman. That being consecutive playoff misses and a four-decades-long Stanley Cup famine.
DING DING DING!
I believe we have our much-longer-awaited-than-I-thought-possible winner of the 1967 Contest! Come on down!
In 1983, legendary Italian team AC Milan signed Watford striker Luther Blissett. Blissett failed to settle at the club, scoring just five times in 30 appearances. After the season, Milan sold Blissett back to Watford for around half of what they had originally paid. This was not the first time Blissett had flattered to deceive; after opening his England career with a hat-trick against hapless Luxembourg, he failed to score in any of his subsequent appearances for the national team. The tabloids thus gave him the nickname of -wait for it- "Luther Missit."
After his season with Milan, Blissett never played in Italy again. However, he was not forgotten. In the mid-1990s, a group of Italian anarchists and radicals pulled off several jaw-dropping media hoaxes, and published subversive art and literature under the name Luther Blissett, until the end of their "Five Year Plan" in 1999, when the group committed a symbolic suicide. While actions are carried out independently under the Blissett name, it has been officially retired. The real Blissett has maintained a sense of humour about the matter, once appearing on British TV and reading from the group's work, mostly importantly the maxim: "Anyone can be Luther Blissett simply by adopting the name Luther Blissett." At show's end, the panel exclaimed as one, "I am Luther Blissett!"
The upshot of this (cause I don't think there are many Italian anarchists or Watford supporters among the Blocheads) is that I finally think I have solved the maddening riddle that is Steve Simmons. How else to explain his offerings over the past two days? Sunday's brainsqueeze featured this defence of Dick Peddie:
Nothing gets more tiring than those who continually blame Richard Peddie and Larry Tanenbaum for all that's wrong with the Leafs. Yes, you can blame Peddie for the hiring of Ferguson. But after that, as Ferguson is apt to say, "I'm responsible for everything that goes on here." Neither Peddie nor Tanenbaum have signed free agents, drafted or made trades. This is Ferguson's team. He is a lame duck because of the crappy team he has built, not because he doesn't have a contract beyond this season. Had he done his job well, you would never hear Peddie or Tanenbaum's name. For public purposes, they wouldn't exist...
OK, it's all Brylcreem's fault, he was never forced to make the playoffs while rebuilding on the fly, he's the decider though he's not allowed to fire his coach. Then today, Simmons gives us this:
Richard Peddie must remove himself -- or be removed -- from the process of determining the immediate futures of Maple Leafs general manager John Ferguson and coach Paul Maurice.
That much is evident as Leafs fans await a
sign that team ownership and management will in some way respond to the
ongoing crisis that now envelops the 28th-place NHL club.
I spent hours today agonizing how a man, 24 hours after absolving Peddie and Tanenbaum from blame in the Leafs debacle, could write a column blaming Peddie and Tanebaum for the Leafs debacle. How could a man have so little internal logic that he could directly contradict himself in print in the space of one day? Is he stupid? Confused? Does he have that thing Guy Pearce had in Memento? I pictured Simmons feverishly trying to tap out a column in fifteen minutes before he forgets where he is, covered in tattoos that read "JACK MORRIS IS A HOFer," "WRITE "THE BETTING HERE" and "DAVE HODGE IS NOT YOUR FRIEND."
But then I thought of Luther Blissett.
I propose there is no "Steve Simmons," not in the sense of one idiotic Toronto Sun columnist, anyway. Rather, there are many, participating in an ingenious long-running act of cultural sabotage. Their goal is not just to mock our fascination with the meaningless world of professional sports, thereby exposing it as the opiate of the 21st-century masses, but to actually fully destroy the bourgeois concepts of logic and reason themselves, paving the way for society as an endless carnival where the jester is king and the hyenas of the state are left to feast joylessly on their own entrails. Or something like that. The "Steve Simmons" who appears on the Reporters is either one of the most brilliant cultural terrorists of our time, or a well-meaning carpet salesman from Ajax who is under the mistaken impression that he is a widely loved sportswriter.
Once you free yourself from the myth of Steve Simmons, you can submit to the true genius of the plan. Write whatever you want! Write whoever you want! Throw off the shackles of meaning and intelligence!
I am Steve Simmons. You are Steve Simmons. We all are Steve Simmons!
And hey, whatever happened to Steve Simmons?
-Damien Cox
The only thing uglier than last night's shitkicking by the LA Kings (they of the ONE playoff series win since Kerry Fraser giftwrapped their ticket to the Finals in '93) was having to read the reaction. With blood in the air, it seems like everybody had to weigh in with their doom scenario. Do you remember that US candidates' debate a few years back, when they asked everyone to name their hero? Everyone took turns intoning "Jesus Christ" in a way that was supposed to let us know that unlike the other seven guys, they were REALLY down with the JC. Change the question to "How fucked are the Leafs?" and the answers to variations on "thousands of years from now, children will study this 07-08 season and cry uncomprehending, bloody tears" and you have what was served up this morning. Here it is, in bits:
Not to be outdone by today's Shoaltsclusive (which, upon examination, appears to be nothing more substantial than "Fergie's getting canned eventually probably, and most of the board own BlackBerrys!" Damn you Shoalts!) the Star's website stuck Cox's blog entry as the lead item on their website... good to know we can get insight like the latest awkward swing in DC Talk's longstanding handbags-at-twenty-paces feud with Darcy "he only scores at the tail end of blowouts" to the widest possible audience... for a guy who hates fighting, Damien sure seemed to enjoy Darcy getting pummeled by Jarko Ruuttu, didn't he?.... Simmons countered by running a hectoring interview with a guy at Teacher's who he says has the power but actually doesn't... didn't stop Steve from trying to make the guy look bad. For a guy who seems to have every third column (Eg: today's column) ghostwritten by Peddie, Steve doesn't know much about how the board works... that's why they call him the Champ.... Howard Berger, while dead-on about how grim the Leafs efforts have gotten (somewhere between the middle third of Trainspotting and last half of Apocalypse Now on my scale), inexplicably thinks that firing JFJ and Maurice is only a "quick fix" that won't have lasting effects. Wrong. If there is to be a rebuild, it has to start now, and you hire someone competent to start the process that Brylcreem can't and won't. Otherwise, every day is wasted... Berger suggests waiving Raycroft, which is a quick fix that only takes us further away from the goal of this season: Stamkos in '08! GET WITH THE PROGRAM BERGER!...
And finally, 680 ran somebody over to the McDonald's on Steeles and asked Gord Stellick about his take on this mess. He chortled at the blatant optimism of Leafs fans. I think that's what he said- there's usually a lot of static on those drive thru mikes. Anyways, we all needed a bit of a reality check from the clear-eyed realist who traded Russ Courtnall for JOHN &%*$*#&@&@*@ KORDIC, didn't we? He might have a point, though. After years of cheering for a team run by the Stellicks and Brylcreems of the world, the fact that Leafs fans are getting up in the morning and not leaping in front of trains is an act of heroic optimism in itself...actually I heard Raycroft jumped in front of a bus last nite. You know the rest....
Not to be outdone by today's Shoaltsclusive (which, upon examination, appears to be nothing more substantial than "Fergie's getting canned eventually probably, and most of the board own BlackBerrys!" Damn you Shoalts!) the Star's website stuck Cox's blog entry as the lead item on their website... good to know we can get insight like the latest awkward swing in DC Talk's longstanding handbags-at-twenty-paces feud with Darcy "he only scores at the tail end of blowouts" to the widest possible audience... for a guy who hates fighting, Damien sure seemed to enjoy Darcy getting pummeled by Jarko Ruuttu, didn't he?.... Simmons countered by running a hectoring interview with a guy at Teacher's who he says has the power but actually doesn't... didn't stop Steve from trying to make the guy look bad. For a guy who seems to have every third column (Eg: today's column) ghostwritten by Peddie, Steve doesn't know much about how the board works... that's why they call him the Champ.... Howard Berger, while dead-on about how grim the Leafs efforts have gotten (somewhere between the middle third of Trainspotting and last half of Apocalypse Now on my scale), inexplicably thinks that firing JFJ and Maurice is only a "quick fix" that won't have lasting effects. Wrong. If there is to be a rebuild, it has to start now, and you hire someone competent to start the process that Brylcreem can't and won't. Otherwise, every day is wasted... Berger suggests waiving Raycroft, which is a quick fix that only takes us further away from the goal of this season: Stamkos in '08! GET WITH THE PROGRAM BERGER!...
And finally, 680 ran somebody over to the McDonald's on Steeles and asked Gord Stellick about his take on this mess. He chortled at the blatant optimism of Leafs fans. I think that's what he said- there's usually a lot of static on those drive thru mikes. Anyways, we all needed a bit of a reality check from the clear-eyed realist who traded Russ Courtnall for JOHN &%*$*#&@&@*@ KORDIC, didn't we? He might have a point, though. After years of cheering for a team run by the Stellicks and Brylcreems of the world, the fact that Leafs fans are getting up in the morning and not leaping in front of trains is an act of heroic optimism in itself...actually I heard Raycroft jumped in front of a bus last nite. You know the rest....
Thanks to Pike Malmateer for the tip on this one:
Mike Toth says for a team that isn't much to talk about, Leafs nation just can't seem to shut up.
Unlike the local sports journos, who haven't written or uttered a word about the Leafs this week.
Since I've started co-hosting The Bullpen on The Fan 590 in Toronto with my good buddy Mike Hogan, my brain has turned to Blue & White mush with all the Leafs talk that's such a big part of the show.
Wait a minute...they're talking about the Leafs on the Bullpen? Isn't the Bullpen a CIS Football show?
And since two hours of radio just isn't enough for sportscasters who love the sound of their own voice, I thought jotting down a few notes on the beleaguered Buds might clear my head while giving Leafs fans an excuse for placing my head on a platter.
Trust me, we don't need any excuses, but let me get this straight: There's nothing to talk about regarding the Leafs...and you spend two hours a day talking about them on the radio...and now you're writing a column about them?
That's messed up.
1.. Alrighty, then. So maybe the return of Vesa Toskala won't solve all the Leafs troubles. Wednesday, the Buds were blitzed 5-0 by an Anaheim club that's finally starting to play like champs. And if you thought the "get something for Sundin" story had legs before; brother... you ain't seen nothin' yet. Yesterday, The Toronto Star featured eight hockey experts weighing in with their ideas on how to get the best value for the big Swede if a deal eventually goes down. Glenn Healy, for instance, was assigned the task of pulling the trigger on a trade with Ottawa. Healy is one of the most hilarious guys in hockey and for his sake, I hope he was just kidding about the deal he proposed because it has about as much chance of happening as yours truly has of landing a bigger contract than Nick Kypreos.
Healy's master plan?
Sundin to the Senators for Andrej Meszaros, Patrick Eaves, Antoine Vermette and a pair of first or second round draft picks.
That is one hell of a trade. Maybe all that talk about Healy as the next Leafs GM wasn't so crazy after all. Too bad that trade would never happen because, unfortunately, JFJ isn't the GM of the Ottawa Senators. At least Healy is aiming high.
Heck! Why doesn't Healy ask Ottawa to toss in Ray Emery while he's at it? He'd be a perfect back-up for Toskala. As the league's looniest and gooniest goalie, Sugar Ray could jump off the bench into the high-priced platinum's and punch out all the snooty stragglers who finally grace us with their appearance halfway through the period. But seriously, while Sundin is having a sensational season, fans and media in The Big Smoke are famous for falling head over heels for their local heroes. ("I'm tellin' ya, Wendel shoulda been a first-ballot Hall-of-Famer!")
Of course Wendel shouldn't have been a first ballot Hall-of-Famer.
That would be an insult.
Wendel should have been whisked to the Hall of Fame by helicopter the minute he stepped off the ice after his last game and inducted immediately.
But there's no way a team would come up with the kind of package for Sundin that Healy is suggesting and especially not the Senators.
Think about it.
Why should anyone start thinking now?
Blue & White backers have put up with everything from the Ballard years to Kerry Fraser's non-call after Gretzky's high stick on Dougie. But watching Sundin potentially hoist the Cup on Parliament Hill? That could finally be the straw that breaks the Leafs bank... err, back. Hey! The organization still has a ton of those Tie Domi vintage third jerseys to move and risking that cash cow by shipping their captain to the Sens and peeving off the public once and for all just isn't worth it.
But we're Leafs fans, remember? Stupid sheep? No insult is too great? That is why, even though the team isn't much to talk about, us members of Leafs nation can't shut up? Remember? It was the lede?
Besides, how often do you see two archrivals pulling off a major trade? The Red Sox don't do business with the Yankees, the Flames and Oilers never hook-up and the Leafs and Sens are in the same boat. A deal between the two sides just doesn't look right and seeing Sundin in a Sens uni would be like catching your mom gettin' it on with somebody other than dear, old dad.
And like the Leafs, Ottawa also has too much to lose. Look what happened to the Islanders last year. They brought in Ryan Smyth at the deadline and while he did help them make the playoffs, they were quickly bounced in the first round. As it turned out, Smyth took off for Colorado at the end of the season and the Isles gave away a big part of their future for what turned out to be an extremely short fix.
So, because the Islanders made a bad trade, other NHL teams are going to refuse to make deadline deals this year? The Islanders? The Islanders, who have made so many bad trades in the last ten years that word "Islander" is now shorthand for mind-bogglingly bad trade. As in, "The Angels are gonna get totally Islandered if they pull the trigger on that Kendrick, Santana, Rodriguez and Adenhart for Crede and Konerko deal." (In the same article that Toth is commenting on here, Mike Milbury said that he would trade Sundin to New Jersey for Nicholas Bergfors and a draft pick. Milbury is even terrible at pulling off make-believe trades as a fake GM.)
What the Islanders did last year will have no bearing on the rest of the NHL. Crazy trade deadline deals happen every year, and one will happen this year because NHL GMs love doing stupid shit. Just because our GM seems to do the stupidest shit of all, doesn't mean the others can't try to top him. It's in the DNA or something.
The New York media doesn't care about the Islanders. But if Bryan Murray moves a bunch of young guns to Toronto for Sundin only to see the Sens fall flat on their faces, the Ottawa media would have a field day; especially if Sundin, who becomes an unrestricted free agent at season's end, re-signs with Toronto over the summer.
I doubt it. The Ottawa media, like the fans, will spend their summer obsessing over the Leafs, rather than worrying about their own lot. Like every other year.
That's the thing; there are so many intangibles to the idea of moving Mats. He'd have to waive his no-trade contract and to this point, he's stubbornly maintained that he wants to finish his career in Toronto. Plus, despite their lousy performance of late, the Leafs are still only a few points out of the playoffs in the embarrassing Eastern conference. We all know John Ferguson Jr's. future as GM depends on his team somehow sneaking into the post-season. So until they're completely ready to throw in the towel, all this talk about dealing Sundin is really just fodder for the newspapers and talk shows.
Speaking of which, we've got Dickie from downtown Toronto on line one.
"Yeah, first-time caller, long-time listener. Hey, if the Leafs do bite the big one and then try to trade Sundin, is Fergie the guy to do it? I mean, they're gonna kick his butt out of town right after the season ends!"
Is he making fun of Leafs fans here? I don't get it, because I think Toth's imaginary friend "Dickie from Toronto" makes a good point. Does anyone here not have reservations about Fergie making a Sundin trade? With him at the helm we might only end up with Nicholas Bergfors and a pick.
Yes, my friends. On and on it goes and all of a sudden, those Ballard years don't seem all that bad.
Only because we didn't have sports talk radio back then. Or newspapers on the internet. And blogs. Actually, my grandfather had a blog back then. Well, not so much a blog. He'd just stand in front of the Toronto Sun offices and yell "You suck Jim Hunt" at the top of his lungs. Which is pretty much the same thing we do.
2. Contrary to popular belief, Steve Downie isn't the one who led Britney astray and he's also not responsible for Global Warming. These days, Downie is being blamed for just about everything and while he's obviously no angel, he's also getting a raw deal from folks who believe he should have been suspended for bopping Jason Blake last weekend.
I'll give Toth some credit here. His pop-culture references are at least a bit more recent that Steve Simmons'. Just as lame, but more recent.
Don't forget that Blake was the guy running his mouth off when Downie was hit with a 20-game suspension for clocking Dean McAmmond. Blake told reporters that Downie should be kicked out for life, which is absolutely ridiculous. If you're going to mess with a guy's livelihood, you deserve to be decked and Downie saw his chance for a little payback.
Two things here:
1. I didn't realize Jason Blake had so much pull down at the commissioner's office.
2. If Jason Blake was "messing with a guy's livelihood," what the hell was Steve Downie attempting to do when he hit Dean McAmmond with that flying cross-body back in the pre-season. In Toth's world, where a quote in the newspaper "deserves" a sucker-punch to the face as "payback", I can only imagine what the Ottawa Senators are going to do to Downie the next time those two teams meet. There's gonna be blood. And shit. And urine. It'll be like 2 Girls 1 Cup. On Ice. Your way, my way, anything goes! It's payback!
Also, during that game last weekend, Blake was running the Flyers goaltender all night long. A few weeks ago, Hockey Night in Canada's Craig Simpson suggested that Blake has been a little shy about crashing the crease and was taking too many shots from long distance. Jason must have paid attention because he came out barreling to the net against Philly. But if you're gonna dance, you have to pay the fiddler. Downie saw a chance to send a message and instead of blaming him, we should point a few fingers at the linesmen who failed to tie him up during his battle with Blake. Memo to zebras: If you step into the middle of a scrap instead of letting the guys go, do your job and make sure you have both players completely under wraps.
Toth isn't the only one to make this point. Bobby Clark grunted something similar earlier this week and, on Monday, some Flyers fans got their parents to type comments for them on James Mirtle's blog, giving us all a horrifying glimpse into that ugly pit of moronic rage that this the mind of a Flyers fan. Toth is in good company.
There is more of this column on the Sportsnet site if you care to read on. I can't do it anymore. This piece just goes on and on and on. It really seems that even though the Leafs aren't much to talk about, Mike Toth just can't seem to shut up about them.
Mike Toth says for a team that isn't much to talk about, Leafs nation just can't seem to shut up.
Unlike the local sports journos, who haven't written or uttered a word about the Leafs this week.
Since I've started co-hosting The Bullpen on The Fan 590 in Toronto with my good buddy Mike Hogan, my brain has turned to Blue & White mush with all the Leafs talk that's such a big part of the show.
Wait a minute...they're talking about the Leafs on the Bullpen? Isn't the Bullpen a CIS Football show?
And since two hours of radio just isn't enough for sportscasters who love the sound of their own voice, I thought jotting down a few notes on the beleaguered Buds might clear my head while giving Leafs fans an excuse for placing my head on a platter.
Trust me, we don't need any excuses, but let me get this straight: There's nothing to talk about regarding the Leafs...and you spend two hours a day talking about them on the radio...and now you're writing a column about them?
That's messed up.
1.. Alrighty, then. So maybe the return of Vesa Toskala won't solve all the Leafs troubles. Wednesday, the Buds were blitzed 5-0 by an Anaheim club that's finally starting to play like champs. And if you thought the "get something for Sundin" story had legs before; brother... you ain't seen nothin' yet. Yesterday, The Toronto Star featured eight hockey experts weighing in with their ideas on how to get the best value for the big Swede if a deal eventually goes down. Glenn Healy, for instance, was assigned the task of pulling the trigger on a trade with Ottawa. Healy is one of the most hilarious guys in hockey and for his sake, I hope he was just kidding about the deal he proposed because it has about as much chance of happening as yours truly has of landing a bigger contract than Nick Kypreos.
Healy's master plan?
Sundin to the Senators for Andrej Meszaros, Patrick Eaves, Antoine Vermette and a pair of first or second round draft picks.
That is one hell of a trade. Maybe all that talk about Healy as the next Leafs GM wasn't so crazy after all. Too bad that trade would never happen because, unfortunately, JFJ isn't the GM of the Ottawa Senators. At least Healy is aiming high.
Heck! Why doesn't Healy ask Ottawa to toss in Ray Emery while he's at it? He'd be a perfect back-up for Toskala. As the league's looniest and gooniest goalie, Sugar Ray could jump off the bench into the high-priced platinum's and punch out all the snooty stragglers who finally grace us with their appearance halfway through the period. But seriously, while Sundin is having a sensational season, fans and media in The Big Smoke are famous for falling head over heels for their local heroes. ("I'm tellin' ya, Wendel shoulda been a first-ballot Hall-of-Famer!")
Of course Wendel shouldn't have been a first ballot Hall-of-Famer.
That would be an insult.
Wendel should have been whisked to the Hall of Fame by helicopter the minute he stepped off the ice after his last game and inducted immediately.
But there's no way a team would come up with the kind of package for Sundin that Healy is suggesting and especially not the Senators.
Think about it.
Why should anyone start thinking now?
Blue & White backers have put up with everything from the Ballard years to Kerry Fraser's non-call after Gretzky's high stick on Dougie. But watching Sundin potentially hoist the Cup on Parliament Hill? That could finally be the straw that breaks the Leafs bank... err, back. Hey! The organization still has a ton of those Tie Domi vintage third jerseys to move and risking that cash cow by shipping their captain to the Sens and peeving off the public once and for all just isn't worth it.
But we're Leafs fans, remember? Stupid sheep? No insult is too great? That is why, even though the team isn't much to talk about, us members of Leafs nation can't shut up? Remember? It was the lede?
Besides, how often do you see two archrivals pulling off a major trade? The Red Sox don't do business with the Yankees, the Flames and Oilers never hook-up and the Leafs and Sens are in the same boat. A deal between the two sides just doesn't look right and seeing Sundin in a Sens uni would be like catching your mom gettin' it on with somebody other than dear, old dad.
And like the Leafs, Ottawa also has too much to lose. Look what happened to the Islanders last year. They brought in Ryan Smyth at the deadline and while he did help them make the playoffs, they were quickly bounced in the first round. As it turned out, Smyth took off for Colorado at the end of the season and the Isles gave away a big part of their future for what turned out to be an extremely short fix.
So, because the Islanders made a bad trade, other NHL teams are going to refuse to make deadline deals this year? The Islanders? The Islanders, who have made so many bad trades in the last ten years that word "Islander" is now shorthand for mind-bogglingly bad trade. As in, "The Angels are gonna get totally Islandered if they pull the trigger on that Kendrick, Santana, Rodriguez and Adenhart for Crede and Konerko deal." (In the same article that Toth is commenting on here, Mike Milbury said that he would trade Sundin to New Jersey for Nicholas Bergfors and a draft pick. Milbury is even terrible at pulling off make-believe trades as a fake GM.)
What the Islanders did last year will have no bearing on the rest of the NHL. Crazy trade deadline deals happen every year, and one will happen this year because NHL GMs love doing stupid shit. Just because our GM seems to do the stupidest shit of all, doesn't mean the others can't try to top him. It's in the DNA or something.
The New York media doesn't care about the Islanders. But if Bryan Murray moves a bunch of young guns to Toronto for Sundin only to see the Sens fall flat on their faces, the Ottawa media would have a field day; especially if Sundin, who becomes an unrestricted free agent at season's end, re-signs with Toronto over the summer.
I doubt it. The Ottawa media, like the fans, will spend their summer obsessing over the Leafs, rather than worrying about their own lot. Like every other year.
That's the thing; there are so many intangibles to the idea of moving Mats. He'd have to waive his no-trade contract and to this point, he's stubbornly maintained that he wants to finish his career in Toronto. Plus, despite their lousy performance of late, the Leafs are still only a few points out of the playoffs in the embarrassing Eastern conference. We all know John Ferguson Jr's. future as GM depends on his team somehow sneaking into the post-season. So until they're completely ready to throw in the towel, all this talk about dealing Sundin is really just fodder for the newspapers and talk shows.
Speaking of which, we've got Dickie from downtown Toronto on line one.
"Yeah, first-time caller, long-time listener. Hey, if the Leafs do bite the big one and then try to trade Sundin, is Fergie the guy to do it? I mean, they're gonna kick his butt out of town right after the season ends!"
Is he making fun of Leafs fans here? I don't get it, because I think Toth's imaginary friend "Dickie from Toronto" makes a good point. Does anyone here not have reservations about Fergie making a Sundin trade? With him at the helm we might only end up with Nicholas Bergfors and a pick.
Yes, my friends. On and on it goes and all of a sudden, those Ballard years don't seem all that bad.
Only because we didn't have sports talk radio back then. Or newspapers on the internet. And blogs. Actually, my grandfather had a blog back then. Well, not so much a blog. He'd just stand in front of the Toronto Sun offices and yell "You suck Jim Hunt" at the top of his lungs. Which is pretty much the same thing we do.
2. Contrary to popular belief, Steve Downie isn't the one who led Britney astray and he's also not responsible for Global Warming. These days, Downie is being blamed for just about everything and while he's obviously no angel, he's also getting a raw deal from folks who believe he should have been suspended for bopping Jason Blake last weekend.
I'll give Toth some credit here. His pop-culture references are at least a bit more recent that Steve Simmons'. Just as lame, but more recent.
Don't forget that Blake was the guy running his mouth off when Downie was hit with a 20-game suspension for clocking Dean McAmmond. Blake told reporters that Downie should be kicked out for life, which is absolutely ridiculous. If you're going to mess with a guy's livelihood, you deserve to be decked and Downie saw his chance for a little payback.
Two things here:
1. I didn't realize Jason Blake had so much pull down at the commissioner's office.
2. If Jason Blake was "messing with a guy's livelihood," what the hell was Steve Downie attempting to do when he hit Dean McAmmond with that flying cross-body back in the pre-season. In Toth's world, where a quote in the newspaper "deserves" a sucker-punch to the face as "payback", I can only imagine what the Ottawa Senators are going to do to Downie the next time those two teams meet. There's gonna be blood. And shit. And urine. It'll be like 2 Girls 1 Cup. On Ice. Your way, my way, anything goes! It's payback!
Also, during that game last weekend, Blake was running the Flyers goaltender all night long. A few weeks ago, Hockey Night in Canada's Craig Simpson suggested that Blake has been a little shy about crashing the crease and was taking too many shots from long distance. Jason must have paid attention because he came out barreling to the net against Philly. But if you're gonna dance, you have to pay the fiddler. Downie saw a chance to send a message and instead of blaming him, we should point a few fingers at the linesmen who failed to tie him up during his battle with Blake. Memo to zebras: If you step into the middle of a scrap instead of letting the guys go, do your job and make sure you have both players completely under wraps.
Toth isn't the only one to make this point. Bobby Clark grunted something similar earlier this week and, on Monday, some Flyers fans got their parents to type comments for them on James Mirtle's blog, giving us all a horrifying glimpse into that ugly pit of moronic rage that this the mind of a Flyers fan. Toth is in good company.
There is more of this column on the Sportsnet site if you care to read on. I can't do it anymore. This piece just goes on and on and on. It really seems that even though the Leafs aren't much to talk about, Mike Toth just can't seem to shut up about them.
The JFJ Deathwatch is back at full throttle, with this report from Sportsnet (via the Fan) saying he may be axed by the time you finish this sentence. When we said that 2009 was the Year Someone Gets Canned we may have been more prescient than we thought. It's gonna be interesting times, so keep coming back. I'll have reaction to the reaction of the ugliest thing to hit LA since the Bobcat Goldthwait sex video later on tonight.
Will MLSE make sure I owe Kim five bucks?
Keep watching the skis.
UPDATE: It appears it was Shoalts who broke this one. Nice work, Dave!
Will MLSE make sure I owe Kim five bucks?
Keep watching the skis.
UPDATE: It appears it was Shoalts who broke this one. Nice work, Dave!
Somebody gave Todd Stottlemyre a Hall of Fame vote on Tuesday.
Huh?
Who do you think it was? Jeff Blair? Richard Griffin?
Is Simmons a member of the BBWAA?
Thoughts?
I was going to give Steve Simmons a pass for this one, but, three days later, this little nugget from his Sunday Brainsqueeze is still gnawing away at me. I mean, what is the point of having a blog that makes fun of the bizarre things that sports columnists write if I don't comment on one of the more bizarre things that I have ever seen in a sports column:
... Maybe I'm just not modern enough, but I can never remember which actor is Ice-T and which actor is Ice Cube and wonder why neither career hasn't melted ...
While this might look like something from an old Ron Paul newsletter, I'm going to assume that Steve Simmons isn't intentionally perpetuating a nasty old stereotype (all rappers-turned-actors look the same), as it is highly likely that it never once crossed Simmons' mind that this sentence could be interpreted as being...ahem...somewhat insensitive. Obviously, Simmons isn't the reigning Mittenstringer of the Year because of his ability to think things through before going to print.
However, I must draw attention to a glaring error in Simmons' reasoning that shows he knows as much about basic science as he does about popular culture and sports: The physical state of iced-tea is liquid and therefore, unlike an ice cube, it can not melt. The entire scientific basis of this joke is flawed. Had Simmons wondered why neither of their careers had evaporated, that could have worked. As it stands, it is not only unfunny, but also physically impossible.
... Maybe I'm just not modern enough, but I can never remember which actor is Ice-T and which actor is Ice Cube and wonder why neither career hasn't melted ...
While this might look like something from an old Ron Paul newsletter, I'm going to assume that Steve Simmons isn't intentionally perpetuating a nasty old stereotype (all rappers-turned-actors look the same), as it is highly likely that it never once crossed Simmons' mind that this sentence could be interpreted as being...ahem...somewhat insensitive. Obviously, Simmons isn't the reigning Mittenstringer of the Year because of his ability to think things through before going to print.
However, I must draw attention to a glaring error in Simmons' reasoning that shows he knows as much about basic science as he does about popular culture and sports: The physical state of iced-tea is liquid and therefore, unlike an ice cube, it can not melt. The entire scientific basis of this joke is flawed. Had Simmons wondered why neither of their careers had evaporated, that could have worked. As it stands, it is not only unfunny, but also physically impossible.
Yesterday, a day where we saw that most Raccoon Lodge members really think that Jim Rice and Jack Morris were better ballplayers that Tim Raines and Alan Trammell and that voters in the Granite State opted for Walnuts! (ed: WALNUTS!) and the Robot That Cried, proved to Kim and I once again that democracy just doesn't work.
That's why you, the people, do not get to vote for the Toronto sports media's worst writer of the year (but please weigh in below). Instead, the process involved Kim and I relentlessly pounding 50 and reading aloud the columns that made 2007. Also, we did tons of situps. Actually, picture the Siberian training montage in Rocky IV and you're pretty much there. And when we broke away from our KGB minders and sprinted to the top of that mountain, there was only one name that boomed from our lungs:
"DRRRAAAAAAAA-"
No, wait a minute:
"SSSSSIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!"
2007 Mittenstringer of the Year: Steve Simmons, Toronto Sun
You might think that Steve Simmons wrapped up the inaugural Cox Bloc Mittenstringer of the Year award back in May of 2007 when he broke the "news" that Mats Sundin had suffered a career-threatening injury and required surgery "almost immediately." Tongues wagged, JFJ blew a gasket, Simmons defended his claim, and the crippled Sundin (still yet to undergo any operation) is somehow on pace to score 92 points (his most in over a decade) through the first half of the 2007-08 season.
However, we were uncomfortable including this high-point in Toronto sports journalism in the eligible criteria for the award since the whole kerfuffle happened almost four months before we started the Cox Bloc. Luckily for Simmons, the exclusion of the tragically un-repaired hip didn't really harm his chances of taking home the MOY, since he went above and beyond from August onward, blowing away the competition with his week-in week-out lack of attention-to-detail.
Whether he's making up facts or mis-stating stats, Simmons has provided a level of consistency that Cox, Berger, Griffin and the rest could never possibly match (well, Griffin maybe). Looking back, I realized that Simmons pretty much won the award on August 19, 2007, by displaying an amazing ability to get the facts completely wrong in any medium that would print his words or broadcast his mug.
We woke up that glorious morning to see that Simmons had slated the Blue Jays in the pages of the Toronto Sun for having the 22nd best ERA in the Major Leagues. Only problem was, the Jays were hovering somewhere around 8th at the time. We deduced that Steve doesn't know that a low ERA is a good thing. Of course, Steve didn't stop there and next wondered: "Just how valuable is Barry Bonds? The Giants are 3-12 in games in which he has hit home runs this season." Barry had in fact hit home runs in 24 games up to that point in the season. I found that out by looking on the internet. In eleven seconds.
August 19 sure was a bad day for Simmons (but a good day for people who write blogs about the stupid things sports-reporters say and write). After finishing his column, Steve headed over to the TSN studios to give a big thumbs-down to Prince Fielder and Roger Clemens on the Reporters. Fielder and Clemens had recently received suspensions from MLB for on-field behaviour, and Simmons took to the players to task for their actions causing their teams to lose important games.
Turns out that Steve didn't seem to know (which he really should, since he is a sports reporter and had prepared this segment for a nationally televised program) that Fielder had yet to serve his suspension. Clemens one-gamer also had little effect on the Yankees, since the Bronx Bombers lost 12-0 in Clemens' missed start. Like we stated at the time, unless Clemens planned on hitting a few dingers, he wouldn't have helped.
Of course, Simmons has shined on subsequent occasions (two faves include calling Forsberg a waste of money less than a month after naming him the best available FA, and mocking those who thought that the NFL might come to Toronto two weeks before the Bills announced that they would start playing games in Toronto), but that one wonderful Sunday cemented Steve as the New England Patriots of bad-Toronto-sports-writing. No one else ever had a chance.
Congrats Steve, and we look forward to watching you try to keep your crown in 2008.
-KimFirst Runner-Up: Damien Cox, Toronto Star
The namesake of the Bloc was upset this year by Simmons, but that doesn't mean he didn't get it all over himself with regularity. Highlights included him shitting on Toronto FC and calling their fans idiots; writing a column that completely contradicts every other one he's written since the lockout to try to get a cheap rise out of Sens fans (who are about as thick-skinned as Stephen Harper); responded to a rare period of good Leaf play to sagely forecast that the next two months would tell us the quality of the team; after two straight losses, immediately opined it was obvious the Leafs could not make the playoffs; reacted like Helen Lovejoy to the Jiri NSFW "scandal" and its aftermath; praised Conn Smythe for being a man of principle who supported the Vietnam War and hated Muhammad Ali; actually titled a Leafs column "Not So Cocky Now, Eh Boys?"; recently saw Make-A-Wish's brief banishment to the press box as a negative. Does not hate the Leafs organization. Is off to a banner start this year: the long time anti-fighting advocate wished the Leafs played more like the Flyers, the dirtiest team in the league. With a spinarama that would make Denis Savard weep, Cox looks in it to win it in 2008. Watch your back, Steve!
-Godd
Second Runner-Up: Howard Berger
Class-war, cancer, lies, libel...Working Class Howard!
Sometimes there's a man - and I'm talking about Howard Berger here - sometimes there's a man who will go to great lengths to show that anything is possible. Like, who the hell ever thought that anyone might feel sympathy for Sean Avery? Impossible, you say? Not when this year's MOY bronze medalist is on the job.
The Avery nonsense aside, Berger had a strong year. We will never forget his bizarre tirade against the Leafs for renting a luxury box at a Cowboys game while poor ol' Howard had to munch on hotdogs with the proletariat in the cheap-seats. Thanks for sticking up for the little guy, Howard...and as soon as our employer (that cruel taskmaster, Fred Isher) sends us to Texas to watch hockey, and pays us enough to afford a $150 ticket to a football game, we will then know your pain.
Good work Howard! We're looking for even bigger and brighter things next year.
-Kim
Honourable Mentions:
Richard Griffin (but responded sanely to mailbag challenge), David Shoalts (but put together several good pieces towards year end; didn't get sued), Christie Blatchford (but neither Kim nor I can read fifty words from her without renal failure- nice smokescreen)
With 2008: The Year Someone's Getting Canned just dawning, I have little doubt that the best is yet to come. Cause if I can change, and you can change... the mittenstringers can't. That's why we're out here... the Bloc. Making fun of Simmons and Cox for all us sinners. I don't know about you, but I take comfort in that.
Rosie DiManno appears to be just as upset as Damien Cox with the treatment that reporters are receiving in the Leafs locker room:
This is evidenced in the dressing room, as well, where young pros without the chops to support such haughtiness can be witheringly snide and condescending to reporters. Where they learn such attitudes is a mystery because they certainly aren't emulating the class of a Mats Sundin or Tomas Kaberle.
Elsewhere in this piece, DiManno refers to Kyle Wellwood as a "mook" (which, according to Wikipedia, is a contemptible, incompetent person), and derides the Leafs' coddling of younger players, telling Wellwood, Stajan, Steen and the rest that "times up, babies."
Now, I'm all for calling out the Leafs on their poor player development, and incompetence often describes the play of many players on this team...but, where Rosie DiManno learned such attitude is a mystery because she certainly isn't emulating the class of a Lou Marsh or Scott Young. Or Stephen Brunt. Or David Shoalts. Or Dave Feschuk. Or any of the many other columnists who seem to be able to express their opinions without childish name calling.
This is evidenced in the dressing room, as well, where young pros without the chops to support such haughtiness can be witheringly snide and condescending to reporters. Where they learn such attitudes is a mystery because they certainly aren't emulating the class of a Mats Sundin or Tomas Kaberle.
Elsewhere in this piece, DiManno refers to Kyle Wellwood as a "mook" (which, according to Wikipedia, is a contemptible, incompetent person), and derides the Leafs' coddling of younger players, telling Wellwood, Stajan, Steen and the rest that "times up, babies."
Now, I'm all for calling out the Leafs on their poor player development, and incompetence often describes the play of many players on this team...but, where Rosie DiManno learned such attitude is a mystery because she certainly isn't emulating the class of a Lou Marsh or Scott Young. Or Stephen Brunt. Or David Shoalts. Or Dave Feschuk. Or any of the many other columnists who seem to be able to express their opinions without childish name calling.
