COX VS FOX

Jesus, Damien, could you give us five #$I*@& minutes here? We're dealing with the aftermath of the bloodbath the mittenstringers have bayed for all year here, a story so big we have Working Class Howard analyzing Dick Peddie's press conference lip-syncing like the Zapruder film and the Star pulling Feschuk over to prove why he really gets paid to write about basketball. And yet, we're still talking about DC Talk, aren't we?

That's because the Omen has DOMINATED this week. In a week which exposed the mittenstringer feeding frenzy at its lowest ebb (my favourite touch - the self-righteous columns about how MLSE is mistreating Brylcreem Jr and embarrassing his family written by those who've demanded his head on a platter the last few years) Damien has proved why his is the name we do business under here.

Not to be put off by his "DEWEY DEFEATS TRUMAN" whoopsie to start the week, Cox has been throwing heat the rest of the week. He acts as if he's upset about the Fletcher hiring, but judging from his output, he must secretly be ecstatic. Apparently the Silver Fox left Toronto in '96 without returning Damien's Third Eye Blind CD or something, because you can't read anything Damien writes without hearing a massive axe grinding away in the background.

Now, it's completely reasonable to criticize the Fletcher move. The whole affair was conducted about as smoothly as a Make-A-Wish breakout pass, and though I thought he said, or at least Vanillied, the right things at the presser, Fletcher is well past his prime and coming off a tenure in Phoenix that was not exactly sterling. On the other hand,  he is an interim guy with great contacts and a good reputation, perfect for bringing in the next guy, and he has returned respectability to the Leafs once during my fandom, acquiring the two greatest Leafs I've ever seen in ridiculously lopsided trades. So yeah, you could go either way.

However, just cause there is a good argument against the Fletcher hire, an intellectually honest one, doesn't mean Cox is going to make it. The grandstanding at the press conference aside, his writings on Fletcher have been filled with distortions of his record, and to be honest, are embarrassing. Varry Galk has already pointed out the pathetic attempt to recast the Gartner for Anderson trade as Fletch getting fleeced; acquiring  2-time 50 goal scorer Dave Andreychuk, for a redundant Grant Fuhr was throwing away the future on 'short-term' help (that took the team to the conference finals those first two years); and  castigating him for the terrible Wendel reacquisition without mentioning the board interference that led to the deal. On the internet, this is called "trolling."

The best was saved for today, when Damien, apparently drunk with imaginary power, published a pdf (I felt like a real executive) on the Star's website of who the Leafs should get as GM (apparently JFJ's lack of experience was a problem, but not Patrick Roy or Mark Messier), referred to Fletcher in his mailbag as "Mr Draft Schmaft" (leave the childish nicknames to the pros), and topped it all of with this:

I agree. I hear people say the Toronto media is part of the problem, but I really think we - TV, radio and print - are, as you say, a rather forgiving lot. Moreover, if people want to blame the media for being an influential part of the Leaf failures, well, they better carve our names on the Cup if the drought ever ends.

And if Britney ever puts down the blow and wins a Lifetime Achievment Grammy, the first thing she should do is thank the paparazzi.