Tomorrow's News! Today!
I can't wait to see the idiocy spilling from tomorrow's sports pages after Reed Johnson hit a three-run dinger in today's Cubs win over the Jays. I imagine Simmons' Brainsqueeze will contain something like this:
...J.P. Ricciardi was exposed as a know-nothing fuckwit yesterday as Reed Johnson heroicly led the Cubs to victory over the Blue Jays... Johnson's third homerun of the season came shortly after a gritty error by David Eckstein... Johnson was unable to get his uniform dirty on the Rogers Centre astroturf, but his game-winning homer proved without a doubt that he is a billion times better than useless Shannon Stewart... Stewart has not had a hit in more than a week... and hey, whatever happened to Dave Pratt?
Simmons won't be the only one, and I doubt anyone will mention Johnson's attempt to throw out Kevin Mench at home in the ninth with a throw that came closer to hitting Geddy Lee than Cubs catcher Henry Blanco.
...J.P. Ricciardi was exposed as a know-nothing fuckwit yesterday as Reed Johnson heroicly led the Cubs to victory over the Blue Jays... Johnson's third homerun of the season came shortly after a gritty error by David Eckstein... Johnson was unable to get his uniform dirty on the Rogers Centre astroturf, but his game-winning homer proved without a doubt that he is a billion times better than useless Shannon Stewart... Stewart has not had a hit in more than a week... and hey, whatever happened to Dave Pratt?
Simmons won't be the only one, and I doubt anyone will mention Johnson's attempt to throw out Kevin Mench at home in the ninth with a throw that came closer to hitting Geddy Lee than Cubs catcher Henry Blanco.
Roman Pavlyuchenko is a golden god.
He finishes like Forlan. At least today.
You guys have been on fire lately. Keep up the good work.
Their moms reconnected the internet in the basement.
Actually, moms still hasn't hooked the internet back up. I've been posting at the public library.
Till hasn't been able to post lately because he's not allowed in the library after that whole Carl Monday thing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L2YWMdV4Msc
I AM A COMBAT VET!!!