Jorn's Jottings X: The incoherent ramblings of severely hungover man
It's Sunday, and I am insanely hungover, which means it is the perfect time to trot out one of the favourite tired tricks of lazy columnists the world over: A bunch of rambling nonsense, useless factoids, and hey-whatever-happened-to's strung together by ellipses...I'll start with an interesting fact: this type of column was pioneered by Peter Gammons when he worked at the Boston Globe...unlike a certain Sunday brainsqueeze, Gammons' column took up a full broadsheet page and was crammed with so much important info that it was a must read for baseball fans across North America...
I went to see the Saskatoon Blades play on Friday and was dissapointed to see that Wendel Clark's retired number was not hanging from the rafters like I had been promised...It turns out that they've taken it down in order to refit the arena to add more seats for the 2010 World Juniors which are taking place here...That banner must be freaking huge...
Speaking of western Canadian junior hockey, hair-product lab-rat Mike Toth's most recent column laments the lack of colourful nicknames in the modern baseball world...Sure, there are no Wahoos and Catfishes anymore, but Toth is apparently unaware of the brilliant McGlovin, bestowed upon the Blue Jays' Human Highlight Reel (with the glove, not the bat, of course) by Neate Sager...Instead, after detailing all the tortured logic behind his choices, Toth gives us The Arlington Assassin (Wells), Holy Cow (Scutaro) and Three Outs (Rios)...Now I know that someone who re-christened Pratt and Taylor as Fat and Failure shouldn't be criticizing the nicknaming abilities of anyone, but come on...
Working Class Howard (now that is a nickname) took time from his busy schedule (filled with yelling 1967 at anyone wearing the colour blue) to answer some of his readers' questions...My fave:
Q. Jonathan in Medicine Hat, Alta. writes: Do you think if Sundin comes back, the Leafs will be a better team than last season? New coach. Hagman. Blake has a new coach. Tougher team. Better defense. Kulemin. Another full season of Antropov. Full season with Toskala. Pressure is off them.
A. No.
Thanks for the insight Howard...I'm sure Jonathan in Medicine Hat (a lovely town, by the way) really appreciates the thought and consideration you put into answering his question...I mean, Jesus, could you not have at least consulted the Magic 8-Ball and given us a "Very Doubtful" or "Don't Count on it"...These people are your readers Howard, and for whatever bizarre reason, they seem to like and respect you...Don't shit on them...
And hey, whatever happened to Godd Till?
