And hey, whatever happened to Steve Simmons
What the hell has happened to Steve Simmons? Remember him? 2007 Mittenstringer of the year? The guy who invented Mats Sundin's hip injury? Didn't know how ERA worked? Strings together pointless brain-droppings and bad jokes with ellipses and calls it a column? Wonders whatever happened to people? That guy? Steve Simmons?
I can remember a short year ago when the name Steve Simmons meant guaranteed content for our modest little media-criticism blog. It was like he was writing mind-boggling nonsense just so that Godd and I would have something to do besides get drunk and watch Hibs goals on Youtube. Now? Nothing. We haven't ripped on the guy since May 25, 2008, and not because we haven't been looking for a reason. Trust me, once you're on the radar, you're not getting off.
What does this mean? How does a guy go from feeding us nearly 20% (I did the math) of the content for this blog to nothing in a few short months? Is it possible that he's actually better? I mean, the guy has done good work in the past. He has/had good connections with the Leafs and broken stories (some of them even true, hey-o), and his coverage of the David Frost nastiness has been excellent. But what happened to the guy who made up stats, baited the fans, and used his column to settle personal scores with local sports personalities?
Sure, Simmons could still round back into form, but five months is a pretty decent sample size. If Rocky can change, and Drago can change, who is to say that Steve Simmons can't change? Maybe everyone can change?
Everyone, of course, except for Damien Cox.
Till and I worried at the start of the season that the current rebuilding of the Toronto Maple Leafs may be bad for the blog. Unless the Leafs did something stupid like trade their first rounder and Pogge for Gaborik or decide to keep Schenn up for the full season, the mittenstringers wouldn't really have much to ammo. How can you criticize a bunch of kids and fourth-liners for not winning? Even the tired meme about Leafs fans planning the parade after a two game winning streak seemed to have been put to rest before the start of the season.
Well, no one seems to have told TEH COX:
Once again, proof that there's nothing like a two-game winning streak.
Can you see where this is going? Jesus. I'm going to skip over most of this column and just get to the good bits.
...
...
...
That was a trick. There aren't any. I don't like Damien's blog posting and I think it is just the usual negative, glass-half-empty approach.
Here is my favourite part though:
Maybe Simmons could give him some advice during commercials on the Reporters.
I can remember a short year ago when the name Steve Simmons meant guaranteed content for our modest little media-criticism blog. It was like he was writing mind-boggling nonsense just so that Godd and I would have something to do besides get drunk and watch Hibs goals on Youtube. Now? Nothing. We haven't ripped on the guy since May 25, 2008, and not because we haven't been looking for a reason. Trust me, once you're on the radar, you're not getting off.
What does this mean? How does a guy go from feeding us nearly 20% (I did the math) of the content for this blog to nothing in a few short months? Is it possible that he's actually better? I mean, the guy has done good work in the past. He has/had good connections with the Leafs and broken stories (some of them even true, hey-o), and his coverage of the David Frost nastiness has been excellent. But what happened to the guy who made up stats, baited the fans, and used his column to settle personal scores with local sports personalities?
Sure, Simmons could still round back into form, but five months is a pretty decent sample size. If Rocky can change, and Drago can change, who is to say that Steve Simmons can't change? Maybe everyone can change?
Everyone, of course, except for Damien Cox.
Till and I worried at the start of the season that the current rebuilding of the Toronto Maple Leafs may be bad for the blog. Unless the Leafs did something stupid like trade their first rounder and Pogge for Gaborik or decide to keep Schenn up for the full season, the mittenstringers wouldn't really have much to ammo. How can you criticize a bunch of kids and fourth-liners for not winning? Even the tired meme about Leafs fans planning the parade after a two game winning streak seemed to have been put to rest before the start of the season.
Well, no one seems to have told TEH COX:
Once again, proof that there's nothing like a two-game winning streak.
Can you see where this is going? Jesus. I'm going to skip over most of this column and just get to the good bits.
...
...
...
That was a trick. There aren't any. I don't like Damien's blog posting and I think it is just the usual negative, glass-half-empty approach.
Here is my favourite part though:
Some won't like this blog posting, and will say its the usual
negative, glass-half-empty approach. This team was not expected to do
well, and some will suggest three wins in eight games to start the
season is evidence of a team that is over-achieving.
But isn't it about time Leaf fans and local media started looking at their hockey team realistically, rather than believing in the latest two-game win streak?
Well from what I've heard (and I gathered this info by, you know, actually talking to people) Leafs fans seem to be on board. It would be nice if Damien Cox would take a shot at the media aspect of his noble suggestion.Maybe Simmons could give him some advice during commercials on the Reporters.

Hey, did you guys hear? Schenn's career is ruined. Howie told me so.
Ah, leave it to teh Cox to be so enamoured with his Ronco flavour injector that he feels the need to inject his pessimism wherever, whenever, and however possible. I think his paint by numbers journalism course may have said it best when it said 'drape your arguments in generalizations. The bigger the better. You too can become the Christo of the sports beat!' With much less value of course.
And don't give up on Simmons just yet. I figure once the uncertain nature of where in the standings the Leafs will set up camp and eke out an existence is settled, then Simmons will emerge from hibernation and dole out his wacky prescriptions to the huddled masses. To paraphrase an inspiration from Berger - 'You can only take a nutty position once you know what position you're in.'