Till Bits

| | Comments (10)
Kim and I disagree on a lot of things - he somehow prefers the Manic Street Preachers to the garage rock genius of The Fall, he hates mayonnaise (The Prince of Condiments), he thought Kyle Wellwood was going to be a bust... ok, he gets it right occasionally. During last year's playoffs, he became more and more convinced that one guy was who the Leafs needed to bring in over the summer - sawed-off high-fashion whackjob Sean Avery.

Unconvinced that the homeless man's Darcy Tucker was what the rebuilding Leafs needed, I lampooned Jorn mercilessly, even if I conceded seeing Howard Berger's mustache combust would be worth every penny of his contract. (Speaking of which, WCH's latest - in which the man who apparently spun Cancergate out of whole cloth and has admitted to making up the news lambastes the Leafs for their creative injury reporting - is a masterpiece of irony worthy of O. Henry or, dare I say it, Alanis herself. Bravo, sir. Be sure to enter the contest, readers!)

Well, Kim, you were absolutely right:

"He's a staple as far as Canadian hockey goes," Avery said during interview on the CBC's The Hour. "And I grew up watching Coach's Corner, and he serves a purpose.

"But he really does not know shit about hockey.

"He knows, like, unnecessary facts about putting Sears catalogues on your shin pads."

You need to click through and read the rest of the piece, in which Avery calls most NHL players "simple," laments that the culture of junior hockey kept him from reading Moby Dick, and refers to himself as "not that gay." A missed opportunity, indeed.

Here's a couple more bits for your weekend. New York magazine ran a dumbass article asking people to list their iconic New York atheletes of the last 40 years. I won't bother linking to it, partly cause no one saw fit to include anyone on the only New York team to win four straight titles in that span, cause fuck hockey, apparently. But I liked it enough to take a stab at my guesses for Toronto.

10. Borje Salming. (I would take arguments - maybe Donovan Bailey or Danny Dichio?)

9. Vince Carter (sure, people rightly loathe him, but he remains the most famous Raptor of all time, and the star of their most successful teams)

8. Rocket Ismail (I was going to go with Flutie, but he is more Calgary in my mind, and Rocket was there for the Hollywood McNall-Gretzky period that saw the biggest Argos interest)

7. Dave Stieb (the 80s Jays, in their first run to contention that captured the hearts of the city - and Royals and Tigers fans - need someone, and I can't think of one player who symbolizes that team, so good but not quite perfect, better than Stieb)

6. Doug Gilmour (whined his way out of town, yet no one ever holds it against him. That's how popular he is)

5. Mats Sundin (Pass.)

4. Roberto Alomar (the star and best player on the back to back champs

3. Joe Carter (provided likely the biggest single moment for TO sports fans in the last 40 years, big Rush fan)

2. Darryl Sittler (an all-world player wronged by Ballard, sympbolized the missed promise of the 70s and the godawful 80s to come)

1. Wendel Clark (no explanation needed, still loved everywhere to this day - but why the hell aren't his Chunky Soup or "Good book, eh?" commercials on YouTube)

Feel free to proceed to the comments and tell me everyone I missed and how I'm totally full of shit. You guys are dicks!

ITEM! Speaking of dicks, our commenting system is broken like Carlo, so we can't respond to your comments. We're not ignoring you and hope to have this resolved soon. BFFs?

ITEM! Wasn't it great to see the Sens blow the first game of the year when Spezza got caught dicking around with the puck? Warmed the heart, it did.

Goodbye, and remember: I can put my arm back on. You can't. So PLAY SAFE!


At the risk of being excommunicated from the Barilkosphere or burned alive atop a pile of sherwoods and kohos I'm not sure that Wendel should be #1 or even in the top 5.

I think Dougie would rank higher than Clark, even though Gimour's trade to the Devils was an awfully messy affair - though not as messy as his trade from the Blues (how none of this stuck to him amazes me. Must have been the cow tights).

The only outright miss on the list is Pinball Clemons.

I'm also surprised that not one woman made the cut. No Carling Basset, Silken Laumann (Missassauga, but it's close), Cassie Campbell, Abby Hoffman (too long ago?)

daoust said:

so you hate cox et al, like the fall, and despite your love of the game your hockey experience is limited to road and vids. jesus, it's like it's me writing this blog.

re: dave stieb. i'd nix him and put in george bell.

Oh, one more (geeky) detail.

That book that Clark was reading in the "Good book, eh?" commercial was The Rocket, The Flower, The Hammer and Me. It's a fantastic collection of short stories about hockey.

Sadly, it's long out of print but it can usually be found used from the usual suspects.

D¹an D²aoust said:

The Fall eh? I'm still trying to convince people that everyone should own a copy of Hex Enduction Hour. I usually get blank stares in return.

Others I'd consider would be George Bell and Tony Fernandez. Sure, Bell was gone by the time the Jays won the World Series, but the malcontent put the Jays on the rise towards being contenders in the AL EASt. Tony Fernandez was a slap-hitting genius and the best short-stop the Jays have ever had.

I'd also put Frank Mahovlich on the list. He did after all win a Stanley Cup with the Leafs. Also, he may have been the player who inadvertently started the misguided concept of Leaf fans, some of them anyway, underappreciating skill in favour of 'grit', 'tenacity' and players with oversized craniums (see Tie Domi). I'd also consider Charlie Conacher and Dave Keon.

As above, Rocket Ismail doesn't belong on a top 10 list.

daoust said:

what the?? this is getting bizarre.

i posted a comment yesterday under the name daoust, giving props to the Fall and George Bell. it never showed up. now someone else using the daoust handle makes a post about the Fall and George Bell?

i'm a little scared.

D¹an D²aoust said:


Really? I'm not one to pilfer other's handles, but, without giving too much away, surely you must realize that Dan Daoust has a legion of minions doing his bidding.

That is strange though, the Bell and Fall thing. Were we separated at birth or are you using Dan's 'hyperkinetic mind-reading module' to program my thoughts? And if so, why are you doing so? Is Dan dissapointed in my progress on "Project Oberon"? I know, there have been setbacks, but I told him in the dossier, specifically pages 37-48, that things can be corrected in a matter of weeks. Kudos to your work on destroying the economy. Dan speaks highly of you and you are certainly on the fast track to a promotion, perhaps even "employee of the month" accolades are in order.


daoust said:

No accusations of pilfering handles at all. the more people paying tribute to daoust the better if you ask me. Just surprised – I didn’t think there were that many dudes out there who were daoust fans and Fall fans. Glad I’m not alone.

And I see my original post is there now. Maybe it was there all along? It’s like the twilight zone around here today.

D¹an D²aoust said:

Ah! Maybe I just didn't read the comments? I did read the post yesterday but only chose to comment today, so I may have glossed over/ignored the comments. My humble apologies for not spotting another Daoustophile.

And yes, Daoust + the Fall + George Bell eqaulizes well rounded individual. I hear Dan is a fan of the song 'Athlete Cured' - may explain a few things.

D²an D¹aoust said:

Ouch! I've been getting the subscript wrong and the adjective for Daoust fans is certainly wrong as it's 'Daoustist' and not Daoustophile.

Apologies to both Mr. Till and Mr. Jorn for clogging up the comments blue line with these Daoust digressions.

Guy Trottier said:

Stieb was the "big Rush fan" not Carter................and how about Mugsy Boges? or was it Bugsy Moges,....or was it,nevermind.

About this Entry

This page contains a single entry by Godd Till published on October 4, 2008 6:31 PM.

Hypothetical Questions, Actual Dumbassery was the previous entry in this blog.

18 and Life is the next entry in this blog.

Find recent content on the main index or look in the archives to find all content.

Powered by Movable Type 5.031