November 2008 Archives
Kim Jorn: Burke should be careful with Strachan. You never know when Al is going to sic C-Blatch on Burke's ass. What do I hope Burke does between now and the end of the season? The same as everyone else: gut this team, unload Kabs, Kubs, Toskala, Antro and Poni, noogie Damien Cox, and stockpile picks and prospects. If he can build a time-machine and pull of last winter's Kaberle for Carter trade, I'll be quite happy.
Godd Till: Carter and a 1st! That ship has sailed, unfortunately- if it ever was anything more than a Bruce Garrioch fever dream.
I'll get a little more specifc than you: I don't just want picks and prospects, I want Burke to do absolutely everything in his power to get the Leafs a top-two pick. The team needs a young offensive centerpiece to build around, complementing OLAS on the back end, and that is John Tavares.
I also want to see him give Pogge some competition (wouldn't it be awesome if we had another good goalie prospect?) by picking up a young goalie playing well that's blocked. Corey Schneider from Vancouver, Crawford or Niemi from Chicago - drafting goalies can be a crapshoot so I'd like to see a guy picked up who's at least been successful in the AHL.
I really want to see Grabovski, Kulemin, and Tlusty kept. I fear Jiri will be rushed out of town, just as he's been jerked around his entire career. Leave him on the Marlies this year and next to build his game and confidence. After all that, he'd still be just 22.
What do you fear from Burke? And what do you make of this?
When Burke was courting his wife, he sent her a box of fortune cookies with the fortune inside: "You are falling in love with Brian Burke," and later sent another batch that read: "You are going to marry Brian Burke."
Kim Jorn: I think that is fucking fantastic. I hope he sends a fortune cookie to Ray Shero that says "You will trade Evgeni Malkin to Brian Burke for Robbie Earl and Ryan Hollweg."
I think the Leafs are already doing everything in their power to get a top-two pick. Having said that, if Toskala tries to fuck everything up by playing like he did Thursday night for the rest of the season (or, at least until the end of February), I do have faith in Burke`s ability to manoeuvre up in the draft. Hopefully he ends up with something better than the Swedish cycling brothers for his efforts.
I don`t really fear anything from Burke. I grew up in the eighties and I lived through Brylcreem Jr.`s reign of error. It can only get better. Right?
Godd Till: It already has. There is an edge and urgency around the Leafs, on and off the ice, that is light years removed from the lethargy of the Brylcreem Interregnum. In one respect things are exactly the same as last year though - knowing there are going to be a whole lot of guys shipped out the door in the near future. In that spirit, lets' bring back last year's Blue and White Bargain Bin contest. Name five guys who will be gone by season's end. Winner gets a prize of nebulous value. My guesses:
Kaberle, Antropov, Ponikarovsky, White, Moore.
Kim Jorn: Kaberle, Antropov, Toskala, Kubina, Stempniak.
Considering that Burke is expected to shake things up right away, it might also be worth guessing who the first victim of the purge will be. Has to be a roster player.
Godd Till: Jason Blake removed from active duty and relegated to bartender in the GM box, making sure Brian has an never-ending supply of Burkequakes, which I have on good authority is a half finished Cheesequake from DQ, topped up with Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum.
Also - Anton Stralman for Nevada tickets and a deck of Craven As.
Kim Jorn: Jiri NSFW to Leksand for Jan Huokko.
Godd Till: There's an acquisition that would fill a hole.
Maybe we should wrap this up before it deteriorates any further. Blocheads, for your bingo entries and hopes and fears about the Cheesequake era, proceed to the comments!
Kim Jorn: Do you guys realize that when Axl started
working on Chinese Democracy, Damien
Cox was making fun of Leafs fans for supporting a team that hadn't won a
Stanley Cup in 26 years? Those were innocent times. The Isles were only ten
years removed from their last Cup win and still 20 years away from their move
to Hamilton. Sidney Crosby was five years old. Jennie Garth was a sex-symbol.
The Simpsons was still funny. Fifteen years is a long fucking time, and with
that in mind, what do you guys think of the album? Great album, or greatest
album ever made by a reclusive, manic depressive, paranoid runaway from Indiana?Dick RiPietro: First
off, let me start by saying that no matter what anyone did, they could not make
an album as great as Appetite. That is no fault of anyone's, but it is
just fact.
Second, I don't want to let the time thing get in the way either. I have
heard a lot of people say: "For 14
years in the making, it should be the best album ever made."
Personally, I don't care whether it took 14 years or 14 hours.
Third, my first impression was that if Weiland was singing, it would sound like
a Stone Temple Pilot album. Not sure why but I kinda get that vibe from
it.
That being said, Axl sounds pretty fucking good on it.
Godd Till: The album credits list about 7 dedicated
"Pro Tools engineers" so I could have probably sounded like vintage
Axl on it.
That said, it doesn't sound like STP at all to me, thank Christ. To me there is
a noticeable difference between stuff that sounds like he's trying to go in a
new direction, and the songs that sound like Use Your Illusion III.
Kim Jorn: Ouch! STP? That seems a little harsh. Till mentioned the other day that 'Shackler's Revenge' sounds like the music that would accompany Test's ring entrance, and there's no doubt that some of the music is a bit too "nu-metal" for my tastes. But, considering the fact that I don't really like that kind of music, there isn't really a song that I don't like on the record. And there are a few that I really like. I'd put Sorry, Rian N the Bedouins and Madagascar up there with anything from the UYI albums.
Dick RiPietro: I stand by it. If you took Axl off and put Weiland on, it would be like that second STP album...Purple or whatever the fuck it was called. I think if he would have taken all the Pro Tools off of it and taken out all the stupid intros (most of them are long and don't have anything to do with the song)...Better is a perfect example. Then he would have a kick ass rock album.
Godd Till: I can certainly pick a couple clunkers for you
right off - If the World's lyrics
sound like a metal version of James Blunt, and This I Love sounds like Axl Lloyd Webber's 'The Phantom of the
Viper Room.' Which is kind of appropriate. I can see him hovering bat-like in
the rafters of a Velvet Revolver performance, moaning about how people just
don't understand.
Madagascar is a phenomenal song, but
does anybody find it a little odd that rock n roll's most famous N-bomb dropper
is using MLK samples now?
And why does Axl love Cool Hand Luke
so much? Some may say he identifies with Paul Newman's doomed iconoclast, but I
say it's cause Axl wishes he could eat a hundred eggs in one sitting. This may
explain this album's interminable delays and Axl's weight gain.
Kim Jorn: 50 eggs. But your point stands.
Dick RiPietro: I
am trying to figure out how they say that there are over 70 complete tracks
that they could have used but they put on Catcher
in the Rye, which is exactly the same song as Yesterdays off of one of the
Illusions.
For the most part I like most of it, but that song Scraped is about the worst thing I have ever heard, and this coming
from someone who owns the complete discography of Warrant and Tiffany.
Kim Jorn: The
three of us have spent a lot of time talking about this record over the years,
and deep down we all hoped it was going to be awesome...if it ever saw the light
of day. Is it fair to say that it is a bit of a disappointment?
By the way, I don't think it is possible to ignore how long it took to make
this album. 15 year is a long time. Even if we don't let it affect our
impression of how good the album is or not, I think we need to acknowledge that
the 15 year gestation period may explain why the album sounds like a tribute to
every musical fad that has passed by in the last decade and a half. Like I
said, 15 years is a long time. Imagine how many times a goalie might be injured
during a 15 year period. And imagine if some team decided to sign a goalie for
15 years. Insanity.
Dick RiPietro: You make a good point. You can almost go through every song and musically it sounds like something else you could name (Riad sounds like Disturbed, Sorry sounds like the Foo Fighters, etc), but overall I would say it is not a disappointment. I was expecting much much worse.
Godd Till: If I want to hear Axl do a stripped down
kickass rock record, I'll listen to Appetite. Expecting him to make something
in that vein is like expecting Alexei Yashin to work hard to earn his salary.
It's just not possible, especially as how just three years after Appetite he's
already making Estranged and Coma.
Is it a disappointment? Well, it came out, which I was generally wondering
about. And I honestly expected it to suck more than this. I expected to listen
to it once or twice for curiosity's sake and bin it. But there are 5-6 songs on
here which I think are great and that I will listen to for years, so overall I
think it's a success.
Dick RiPietro: I think it is a good album, but not a good full album. I have been listening to it in order since I got it and I find when you get to the last few songs, even though they are pretty good, it just gets boring. Maybe, like the Leafs, we should raise it to the rafters because it tries hard, but overall it just doesn't have the legs to be a top album to anyone except diehard GNR fans.
Kim Jorn: Holy fucking shit you should watch your fucking mouth and stop disrespecting the greatest player to ever put on the fishsticks and try and drag your shitty team out of the gutter.
Dick RiPietro: Face it. Wendy is the Axl of hockey. Diehard fans thinks he is the greatest thing to put on skates...Everyone else in the world doesn't give a shit.
Godd Till: Now that the Islanders have demonstrated
their unswerving commitment to honouring only the greats by retiring Clark
Gillies's number, it'll be what, another 20 years before they honour anyone
else. Ziggy Palffy? Adrian Aucoin?
And cut Dick some slack Kim. It's hard for him to understand the connection
between Leafs fans and Wendel. The Islanders don't have any fans.
Dick RiPietro: Gillies led the Isles to 4 cups. What did Wendy do? Oh yeah played on the hound line. There's a claim to fame.
Kim Jorn: Well, Wendel did do this.
Godd Till: Jethro - 319 goals in 938 games. Wendel - 330 goals in 793 games.
And 'led' them to four Stanley Cups? That'd be news to Trottier, Potvin, Bossy,
Smith, Nystrom, etc.... I can't wait till the Oilers retire Charlie Huddy's
number.
Dick RiPietro: Face it Wendy was mediocre at best. Unless sleeping with figure skaters is some sort of skill that I am not aware of.
Godd Till: If Wendel is the Axl of hockey, does that
make Mike Peca the Kip Winger?
And thanks for pointing out that diehard fans, no matter what their allegiance,
know and appreciate the titanic greatness of Wendel.
Kim Jorn: Okay, getting back on track...The lyrics on this album leave a lot to be desired. I was going to ask for your favourite line on the album, but it might be a little easier to pick out the worst. I nominate the second verse from the aforementioned Scraped: "Sometimes I feel like my life's a catastrophe, Can't understand why, it seems like it has to be." Seriously, 15 years and Axl is coming up with rhymes that would make Young MC blush?
Dick RiPietro: Even
though, I really like the song, I would say the worst line has to be "
Ohh, what shall I do if I gave my heart to you, oh its such a crime, you know
its true" from IRS.
When did he turn into a 15 year old goth kid writing poetry and
smoking clove cigarettes?
Godd Till: It's a tossup between:
If the world would end today
then all the dreams we had would all just drift away
You know there's nothing more to say
if the world would end and our love slipped away
OR
So if she's somewhere near me
I hope to God she hears me
There's no one else
Could ever make me feel
I'm so alive
I hoped she'd never leave me
Please God you must believe me
I've searched the universe
And found myself
Within' her eyes
Both of sound like the unholy results of a songwriting computer programmed by
David Foster and Bret Michaels.
Kim Jorn: How about some final thoughts on the album.
Dick RiPietro: I
am pleasantly surprised. It was way better than I thought it would
be. I was a little worried that he would get to fancy and forget where he
came from. But there is some good hard rock and metal in there. I even
thought I heard some King Diamond like screams in there.
It was never going to be perfect, but when put up against the new Motley,
Metallica or the latest Velvet Revolver...I think Axl wins.
Kim Jorn: As far as post-Replacements projects go, I'll rank this somewhere in between the Bash and Pop album and Westerberg's Suicaine Gratifaction.
Godd Till: It's strange that what is effectively Axl's
debut solo album feels so much like the end of something rather than the
beginning. Not just for Axl - though if he takes this long to drop album #2,
he'll be 61, but in other ways as well. Who else in music has the
talent, ego, delusions and demons to make music so overstuffed, overthought,
self-indulgent and at the same time often absolutely compelling? Mainstream
popular music today in the age of irony, be it Radiohead, Coldplay and U2 or
alternately Nickelback and Theory of a Deadman all share one thing in common -
the desperate fear of being laughed at, which leads either to po-faced
intellectualism or laughable pathos. They're not carving any new faces into
Mount Rockmore anytime soon, because nobody's is willing to be cartoonishly
larger than life. And that sucks.
Also, this is probably the last time an album's release is this big a deal, in
the sense of its physical availability. Throw a big pile of dirt on HMV, Sam's,
etc. and stick Chinese Democracy on top.
In conclusion, Potvin sucks. You know which one.
Dick RiPietro: I never really liked
Felix either.
Kim Jorn: When you're sick of getting flamed in the comments section for your cheapshots at Wendel, you can always change your name to Penis Dotvin.
It all started this morning when Damien wrote his utterly predictable tirade sniping at the Leafs for letting Fletcher do his job, a refreshing change from his normal castigation of ownership for not letting the GM live. (LET CLIFF LIVE!) It was Klassic Kox: Steen and Cola, who I don't recall DC Talk ever having much time for, are now promising former first round picks being given up on. Lee Stempniak, a 25 year old two seasons off a 27-goal campaign on a lousy team, is now someone 'with 16 goals in his last 97 games.' His usual rigorous research is on display, as he manages to flub both the round Stempniak was drafted in (better still, he uses this as evedence to snidely snub Stempniak. Yeah, and Mike Piazza, Tom Brady, and Henrik Zetterberg are all garbage too. Todd Van Poppel, Ryan Leaf, and Alexandre Daigle, those guys are stars) and his reports his base salary instead of the more relevant cap hit (its 2.5 M, not 3.5). And there's a dash of totally baseless specualtion in there too - if the Leafs dealt two first rounders, Luke Scehnn could be next! Hell, they dealt Chad Kilger and Wade Belak for for low picks last year and they were both TOP TEN DRAFT CHOICES. Madness!
But as Cox says, it's about the bigger picture. The bigger picture in this article is apparently that MLSE has pooched it yet again - that this trade, which he himself describes early in the column as not that important, actually means Fletcher is trading away the future, Peddie is maneuvering to stay in charge, and that this whole trade is going to put Burke off joining the Leafs.
At this point Damien, no doubt feeling good after a hard 15 minutes work, went and had a hoagie and a Snapple or a nice Arby's combo and returned to his desk, perhaps envisioning an afternoon of making his Fletcher and Wilson sock puppets fight each other and watching Family Matters reruns. A quck look at TSN's website scuppered that though as Bob McKenzie, a man who overcame sharing a name with the world's most famous hoser AND appearing on TV with a haircut that looked like a bear's ass for the bulk of the 1990s to become Canada's most respected hockey scoopster, was reporting that the Burke deal was just about done.
Damien then perhaps quickly retyped Bob's article and posted, which appeared on the Star.com under the unfortunate headline 'Brian Burke a Leaf at Last.' Except, of course, he's not.
But wait! There's more! Damien gave us a special edition of his weekly teabag, which featured this piece of daring performance art:
Unfortunately, this has not been an organization where players stick around, or are allowed to stick around, very long.
Yes, the man who gave us 'The Muskoka Five' (which admittedly, was genius) is now characterizing the Leafs of recent times as not a country club but a Dickensian sweatshop, where young men of promise are put through the wringer for a couple short fleeting years before being tossed aside broken, without a fair chance or even their dignity. That lovable urchin Jason Blake still manages to to sneak back to his home behind the rag and bone shop every summer with four million dollars though.
And then! Damien tries to relax with the soothing sounds of Wilbur and what does he hear? Him getting ripped for the headline and generally called an evil meanie who lives under a bridge. So he calls Greg Brady "in the interests of good journalism" (did Craig Bromell call in earlier that day in the interests of civil rights? That's about the equivalent) to set the record straight. He doesn't write the headlines! He's OK with criticism! What follows is a back-slapping game of good natured grabass that should be played in j-schools as an example of the sorry state of the profession in this country. It's hard for Brady to kiss Damien's ass when he's trying so hard to cover it, but he does his best. Damien calls his article accurate, the headline a misunderstanding. Which is all well and good, but what about the article this morning? You know? From a few hours earlier? Where you wrote that MLSE is putting the Burke hire in jeopardy and then got pantsed by every other source with a reporter that was paying attention?
Nothing. We get some meanspirited jabs at Steve Simmons (honestly, stop stealing our bit) and some nightmare fuel in the form of a reference to Wilbur "sunning his buns in Florida." (Note to self: never visit Florida again). And that's it!
How the hell was your day?
(And if you want my opinion, Steen and Carlo plateaued ages ago and it made sense to cash them in for a young guy who can play a top six role. Lee Stempniak also has a name that sounds like he should be playing on the old Jets, with Paul MacLean setting him up and Jim Kyte watching his back. Quality move.)
But I didn't want the moment to go by unmarked here. I want to reflect a bit on why this guy means so much. Stephen Brunt, as usual, was on to something today when he noted how emblematic Roy and Clark are of Canada's two hockey solitudes. Wendel, he said, has soul.
We love Wendel because he understood, innately, the passion of this hockey community, the desire to see the Leaf worn again with heart and commitment.
We love Wendel because he played exactly the way the game feels to the devoted fan - with all out heart-stopping fury every shift. We could never pass like Dougie, deke like Mats, or have Cujo's glove hand, but the rampaging game Wendel played was something we could aspire to, relate to. "That's how I would do it," we'd say to ourselves. Of course this is an illusion. Very few people do anything with the passion Wendel summoned from his banged-up body night after night. That's why we love Wendel - he played even harder than we cheered.
But for people to say he's done a superb job, or for some analysts to suggest the Leafs would be wise to bypass Brian Burke and instead keep Fletcher on the job, is both absurd and an exercise in fact-twisting.
Who are these analysts? Unnamed high-ranking McCain aides? P.J. Stock? Gnomes? We want names.
Cox dismisses his made-up opponents views as both absurd and an exercise in fact twisting, and then follows it up with so much absurdity and twisted facts that it makes Colin Powell`s case for war to the UN in 2003 look like the winning entry in a truth telling contest two counties over. So, today at Cox Bloc, we are going to have a poll. Which of the following ten facts-twisted Cox statements is the most absurd. You can vote in the comments:
1. It's widely portrayed, for example, that Fletcher has directed a significant improvement with the Leafs.
It's just not true.
Under John Ferguson last year, the Leafs had exactly the same record after 18 games they do now, 7-7-4.
Keep in mind that this year's roster is missing much of its offensive core from last year, and, unlike last year, this team is not gunning for a playoff spot and competing for the Stanley Cup (HA! Maurice!)
2. But they're a more exciting offensive team scoring more goals, right?
Wrong. After 18 games they've actually scored one FEWER goal than at this time last year, and allowed one more goal against.
So, a team that is missing much of its offensive core from last year, and, unlike last year's team, is not gunning for a playoff spot and competing for the Stanley Cup, is one goal off the pace of last year's team.
3. Okay, but stats aside, he's effectively revamped the roster, right?
Well, sort of.
The team's top four scorers, starting goaltender and the majority of the blueline corps were all on the roster when Fletcher took over. Ditto for promising rookies Nikolai Kulemin and John Mitchell.
So...Fletcher didn't unload the young players to rebuild...you mean, he attempted to rebuild his team around young players already in the system?...How have the Leafs survived this shameful reign of idiocy?!?!?
4. Fletcher has indeed added players of measurable impact in Mikhail Grabovski and Niklas Hagman. Grabovski was acquired for a second round pick, and while that still seems like a hefty price, we'll agree for the point of this discussion that was a good move.
The season is still young and the sample size is small, but Grabovski has been the revelation of the season for the Leafs. Grabovski has more goals than any player on the Habs and is arguably the best player and easily the most exciting player on the Leafs. A second round pick is a gamble. Sure, every once in a while a gem can be found in the second round, but usually that guy is playing for the Red Wings. Turning a second round pick into a quality young player such as Grabovski is a great move. Isn't this a no-brainer? Am I crazy? Huh? Who are you people? Where am I?
5. Wellwood was dumped with nothing acquired in return.
The Canucks tried to dump his fat ass too. No one else wanted him. How was anyone to know that Wellwood would react so well to seeing his own image in the Canucks logo?
6. Ditto for Darcy Tucker and Andrew Raycroft, who were bought out and will cost the Leafs $1.7 million against the salary cap this season, and both are playing for the Colorado Avalanche.
Colarado Avalanche. 12th in the West. Forty-four goals for, 48 against. You`re welcome Colorado.
7. The Leafs paid $2 million just to be able to trade Bryan McCabe to Florida, and in return picked up the capable but wildly overpaid ($3.5 million per season) Mike Van Ryn.
Of course they had to take a contract back. Unfortunately for Fletcher, JFJ wasn`t given the GM job in Florida, or else maybe we could have got Horton for McCabe.
8. Maybe McCabe had to go. But if that deal has materially benefitted the Leafs, I'd be interested to see the evidence, and McCabe has barely played for the Panthers. Actually, since he returned from injury, he's been a plus player and Florida has won three of five games.
They dumped his contract, His terrible, albatross of a contract. The worst contract in the history of the NHL, and he got someone else to take it. Addition by subtraction. You must understand. You don't? Why?
9. Fletcher tried twice to trade Mats Sundin and failed. Now, if Sundin were to come back to the NHL, it seems there's little chance he'd pick Toronto. His former salary, meanwhile, represents basically all of the cap "savings" attributed to Fletcher.
McCabe, Tucker, Sundin...Cox once dubbed these guys (along with Kubina and Kaberle) the Muskoka Five. They needed to go. Remember? They were the aging core of a dysfunctional dressing room. Sure, it would be great if Fletcher could have peddled them for assets at the deadline, but they refused to go.
10. Fletcher has made far more moves that have proved to have either a neutral or negative effect that ones that have a significantly positive impact on the Leafs.
And the team is no better, no worse. Just about the same.
This team is younger and in a better cap position. Pretty much what Fletcher was brought in to do. Set the table for Burke to come in and trade all our Europeans away for 6`2`` 250 pound Albertans. That was his job. The fact that they are playing to the level of last year`s team is either a fluke or a credit to Ron Wilson.
Cox campaigned for years for this team to rebuild. Now that it is actually happening, Cox has picked the 20 game mark of season one of the rebuild to declare it a failure. Should we be surprised? Remember, this is the same guy who mocked fans of TFC for supporting a losing franchise during its first year of existence. He declared Bryan Colangelo a failure during his second season in charge of the Raptors. He regulalry compares this year's Leafs team to last year's and gloats at the fact that the team isn't as good. That's the point! They aren't supposed to be as good. Jesus.
And, the winner of the most absurd and twisted fact is?
But not nearly as excited as the people of Vancouver, apparently.
In anticipation of the next chapter in the non-existent Leafs-Canucks rivalry (a topic I covered extensively here), the locals have pulled out all the stops.
Free local puppy-training aid 24hrs has been ensuring their readers get their money's worth this week with a slew of Leaf-baiting features. First, they took one of the the many wrecks to be found on the front lawns of Surrey, painted it in Leafs colours and auctioned off the right to put it through a car crusher. The winner? I shit you not, a self-proclaimed "Canucks and Senators fan" (which is like telling the paper you're a child-molester who lights forest fires on weekends). The video of this historic and original event was posted on the website, followed up the next day by a hockey column comparing Leafs fans to cockroaches, written by the paper's lead sports columnist - a freaking hand puppet. Then again, are they going to give the job to this genius?
And it's only Thursday. I can't wait to see what the Province and Sun (Vancouver actually prints two identical daily newspapers owned by the same company, that differ only in name and tabloid/broadsheet format. Handy!) and the local Lungo-jersey wearing dittoheads on talk radio come up with.
You might think I'd be upset about this. After all, I love the Leafs. I watch as many games as I can. I read a half-dozen Leaf blogs and write one of my own. In all, I've devoted countless hours of my leisure time to supporting and stewing over the Maple Leafs. So naturally I'd get upset when the fans of a team Leafs fans don't even give a wrinkled shit about pop off like this, right?
Wrong. To paraphrase an all-time legend at another massive club that hasn't won anything in forever, I'm absolutely loving it.
All this hate, this loathing - what is it but renewed confirmation, as if any was needed, that the Toronto Maple Leafs are the straw that stirs this country's hockey drink? What other franchise provokes this much vitriol? Not even the Habs, and their 10 Cups since expansion. What other teams fans flood visiting arenas across the continent? Leafs fans, take solace in this - no matter how much we lose, we will never suffer an even worse fate - not mattering.
So yeah, why wouldn't Canucks fans soil their jammies at the greatest show on ice coming to town? While they mock us with chants of "1967" I can look to the rafters in the ACC and see 13 banners symbolizing the accomplishments of one of the most storied franchises in North American sports. What do they see when they look to theirs? The Leafs wear iconic uniforms with a crest that is recognized worldwide - the Canucks change their uniforms as often as Van Halen change lead singers. They celebrate second-tier Swedes like Naslund and the Sedins, while the Leafs have iced two of the very greatest ever to wear the Tre Kronor - Sundin and Salming. They venerate Stan Smyl and Trevor Linden. We honour Doug Gilmour and Wendel Clark. We are on coast-to-coast-to-coast just about every Saturday night from 1931 to Armageddon. They are seen on the late game once a month or so. Classic songs are written about our team and its players. You ever hear 'The Ballad of Tony Tanti'? We have hockey's greatest rivalry and the Battle of Ontario.They have car-crushing and third-wheel status with the Alberta teams. Why wouldn't they be excited?
So Saturday I'll probably get razzed by goofs in Kesler jerseys, and I'll probably be the guy weeping into my beer after Wellwood completes his hatrick. But - three thousand clicks from home - I'll also be smiling and cheering with thousands of other Toronto fans in the building, all having a hell of a time supporting their Leafs.
How may other fans get that?
Hello darkness my old friend
We haven't kicked Tricky Dick Griffin around here in ages, and judging from the first half of his column today in which he made a compelling case for a Roy Halladay Cy Young win by citing WHIP and K/BB ratio among other useful stats, I started thinking that maybe Griffin, in the words of famed corner-turner Gerard Houlier, had in fact turned a corner. Not quite:
Removing the stat lines from Halladay's six worst starts (an average of one per month), he was 19-7, with a 1.88 ERA in 191 1/3 innings. Defensive lapses sometimes contributed more than him having bad stuff.
What the fuck is this? Figure skating?
As one commenter pointed out at Baseball Think Factory, if you took out Cliff Lee`s six worst starts this year, he would have gone 20-0 with a 1.58 ERA. It is also worth noting that if you ignored Andrew Raycroft`s 17 worst starts last year (that`s an average of two a month) he would have been unbeaten with a 0.00 GAA. If you take away those three interviews that Sarah Palin did during the U.S. Presidential campaign she might have appeared bright, knowledgable and qualified for office. Speaking of which, if you took away George Bush`s eight worst years in power, he never would have been president.
Two can play at that game
Not to be outdone, everyone`s favourite apologist for wreckless violence in the NHL chimed in with his own version of if-things-were-totally-different-than-they-actually-are:
Right now, Grabovski is playing and producing and seems happy. Maybe tomorrow he'll be a Belarusian version of Jason Blake. We'll see.
Maybe tomorrow Damien Cox will be a thoughtful analyst who writes columns filled with insight about hockey. Like how Grabovski and Blake play much different games, with Grabovski creating many of his own chances and setting up chances for others while Blake is (or was) a sniper who needs (needed) a Yashin type to give him opportunities and can`t pass to save his life. We`ll see.
Next stop: Coast to Coast AM
Is it just me, or did it seem like there was a lot of ink spilled and hot-air expunged this week to defend Tom Kostopoulos`s hit from behind on Mike Van Ryn? Not since 9-11 have I seen so many people who should know better so determined to chuck facts and logic aside in order to blame the victim of an assault. Of course I`m not suggesting that the Van Ryn hit is at all relatable to the World Trade Centre attack, but I do think a few members of the press could get a cameo in Loose Change v 56.4. Like this nutty conspiracy theorist:
But Kostopolous should have at least been notified that the rules were changing beforehand so he could adjust. But this was a nationally televised game, and this involved the Leafs, so the degree of righteous indignation is ear-splitting.
So Kostopolous gets punished not for what he did, but for where he did it and against which team.
That is a lot to take in. Apparently the NHL, while no one (especially Tom Kostopoulos) was looking, snuck both the Boarding and Supplementary Discipline rules into the rulebook sometime around 7.34 last Saturday night. This one goes all the way to the top! And, apparently, acts of violence only go punished when they happen to Maple Leaf players. Sweet. Welcome to the Leafs, Maxime Lapierre! Grab some bench.
Speaking of which, the NHL must still be mulling over Alfredson`s suspension for this one.
Not to be outdone, that hoser Bob McKenzie did his best Kevin Costner impression between periods the other night, slowing the video down like it was the Zapruder film in order to pinpoint the exact moment that Kostopolous decided to hit Van Ryn and prove that Van Ryn`s body was slightly angled at the time. If McKenzie has this type of power why is he not solving crimes or figuring out what women want instead of matching wits with Keith Jones?
By all accounts Tom Kostopoulus is a nice guy, feels remorse, and doesn`t have a history of trouble (except with women and purses), but that doesn`t excuse the hit. The most damning evidence against him can be seen dozens of times every game when a player comes into the exact same situation and does not hit a player from behind and drive his head into the boards with his forearm. And for those who think Van Ryn did something to deserve this, well I guess he`s been punished too.
Luckily for Tom Kostopoulos, the NHL didn't let a jury of his peers decide his fate. Or in this case, a jury made up of people who did the same thing as him, only repeatedly and with more intent. Like this guy:
"I would have had a 20-game suspension for sure," said Hollweg. "So hopefully the league takes the right actions. I don't think mine were as bad as that one."
Dirty and stupid? What a combination.
Need a goddamn job?
Sarah Palin may have bombed spectaculary on the national stage and cost the Republicans any slim chance they had at winning the election this year, but that doesn't mean she'll have a hard time finding work if she decides that politics isn't really for her. Check this out:
In a recent interview, Sarah Palin - once again attacking the media for supposedly treating her unfairly - scoffed at bloggers as kids "in pajamas sitting in the basement of their parents' homes."
Sarah Palin: sports writer.
