Late Season Mittenstringery "Very Timely"
So, now it all makes sense. In the end, it's about the insults.
"To be honest, the factual content of Howard Berger's latest blog doesn't really matter - moreso than in November," a member of the local limo-driver cadre told me. "With so much competition out there on the internet, people with a proven inability to provide actual analysis about the sport they cover will resort to trolling their readers to drive hits to their columns and blogs. People might not like it, but those fucking sheep keep coming back for more."
What a shock. Until that beautiful day when the eulogy is delivered on Howard Berger's career, the proprietors of Eklund's Magical World of Make Believe and the Fan 590 will keep returning to that well that Berger keeps filled with warmed-over bullshit. In Detroit, Mitch Albom was raked over the coals for inventing a story about a college basketball game. Here in Toronto, Howard Berger has been able to keep his job and maintain a high-flying limo-riding lifestyle despite his inability to get his facts straight in his blogs and radio reports.
"Going on air and claiming Bob Gainey was taking the Leafs GM job? Libeling Sean Avery? Relying on anonymous sources and attributing quotes to them when there is absolutely no need to grant the shield of anonymity? No big deal. Look at the hits he's getting."
When asked if the intoxicating effect of being able to call Berger a moron in the comments section of his blog compensates a little for the fans disenchantment with the quality of the local sports coverage, my unnecessarily anonymous pal said, "he doesn't even worry about stuff like that. I don't think Berger even reads the comments that people take the time to leave below his work. He doesn't give a fuck what anyone thinks. All he cares about is the traffic that he generates for a made-up rumour website."
And you wonder why Eklund - perhaps the best at substituting lies and innuendo for substance - allows someone to drag his bad name even further through the mud? Why is it important for Eklund to provide a platform for a dude who professes to not watch the sport he covers? Well, if you're really bad at your job, it always helps to have someone even worse than you around to deflect some of the attention away.
The bottom line is still the thickest line at Eklund's Magical World of Make-Believe, perhaps never moreso than in our current economy. Convincing idiots to pay $20 for made-up trade rumours that they can get for free from TSN easily takes precedence over providing quality hockey analysis. Or, why start now, anyway?
Berger started blogging ostensibly for the opportunity to this new medium is said to present.
It wouldn't surprise me if he's snickering under his breath right now.
"To be honest, the factual content of Howard Berger's latest blog doesn't really matter - moreso than in November," a member of the local limo-driver cadre told me. "With so much competition out there on the internet, people with a proven inability to provide actual analysis about the sport they cover will resort to trolling their readers to drive hits to their columns and blogs. People might not like it, but those fucking sheep keep coming back for more."
What a shock. Until that beautiful day when the eulogy is delivered on Howard Berger's career, the proprietors of Eklund's Magical World of Make Believe and the Fan 590 will keep returning to that well that Berger keeps filled with warmed-over bullshit. In Detroit, Mitch Albom was raked over the coals for inventing a story about a college basketball game. Here in Toronto, Howard Berger has been able to keep his job and maintain a high-flying limo-riding lifestyle despite his inability to get his facts straight in his blogs and radio reports.
"Going on air and claiming Bob Gainey was taking the Leafs GM job? Libeling Sean Avery? Relying on anonymous sources and attributing quotes to them when there is absolutely no need to grant the shield of anonymity? No big deal. Look at the hits he's getting."
When asked if the intoxicating effect of being able to call Berger a moron in the comments section of his blog compensates a little for the fans disenchantment with the quality of the local sports coverage, my unnecessarily anonymous pal said, "he doesn't even worry about stuff like that. I don't think Berger even reads the comments that people take the time to leave below his work. He doesn't give a fuck what anyone thinks. All he cares about is the traffic that he generates for a made-up rumour website."
And you wonder why Eklund - perhaps the best at substituting lies and innuendo for substance - allows someone to drag his bad name even further through the mud? Why is it important for Eklund to provide a platform for a dude who professes to not watch the sport he covers? Well, if you're really bad at your job, it always helps to have someone even worse than you around to deflect some of the attention away.
The bottom line is still the thickest line at Eklund's Magical World of Make-Believe, perhaps never moreso than in our current economy. Convincing idiots to pay $20 for made-up trade rumours that they can get for free from TSN easily takes precedence over providing quality hockey analysis. Or, why start now, anyway?
Berger started blogging ostensibly for the opportunity to this new medium is said to present.
It wouldn't surprise me if he's snickering under his breath right now.
Awesome.
I can't help but imagine the creative writing we're not getting by saving out $20 bucks.
Wait, what...you mean to tell me there is a limo driver uprising in our midst? Or is the uprising amongst the scribblers of comments people leave on Berger's blog? Or is this really a cadre to the second power, in that the uprising is solely amongst the limo drivers who also leave comments to Berger's lively works of misguided fiction?
Regardless of the junta or the cadre of Machiavellian limo drivers (the nature of the profession should have tipped some people off of their contrarian nature, really, they work to drive people around who think that they're in some way better than you because they snub there nose at a proletarian cab?) all this talk of an aimless coup d'etat is a bit late, it should have happened in November, when it mattered.
And to echo Bllan Aester, Awesome indeed, though that awesome could have easily been given in November, when it mattered.
(the when it mattered riff is awesome by the way. kudos to the barilkosphere)
Long time reader first time poster. Berger just pisses me off. The fact that this guy still has a job when nothing he says makes sense boggles my mind. He should really quit, sell off his posessions and go help those cancer kids.