This Blog Is Better Than The Playoffs

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Listen, the playoffs suck. To be more accurate, these playoffs suck. Just like the last three did. Now sure, a lot of you out there are watching every night, appreciating the higher standard of hockey, the passion, the beards, admiring the stars you never see cause you watch Matt Stajan and Vesa Toskala all year, trying your best to be into it; but deep down, you know it's really....shite. It's the potatoes and greens without the juicy steak in the middle of the plate.

So given that it could be another two or three years before we get any Leafs playoff hockey, and the NHL is apparently hell-bent on persisting with the farce of actually playing the playoffs without the Leafs in them (I mean come on, do it on NHL 09 and save us all the hassle), we can at least ask them to make it a little more compelling. And our Montreal correspondent (currently on an extended "hiatus" in Southeast Asia) Fred Isher has just the prescription for our springtime blues.

Instead of the boring format of 1 automatically playing off against 8, 2 squaring off with 7, why not let the coaches and GMs choose who they want to play? The #1 seed in the conference gets first pick as to who they want to play, all the way down till the four matchups are set. San Jose worked hard all year to get the #1 seed - you think they wanted to play the Ducks?

But this isn't about fairness, it's about entertainment. Specifically, sports entertainment. Who wouldn't love the show where the GMs call out their picks. Do you play it safe? Pick a higher seeded team that you've owned all season? Draft a top team missing some key players due to injury, hoping you can pick their carcass early? Then you get the bitterness from the teams picked to be whipping boys, the repercussions for making the wrong choice, a real incentive to to take #1 in the regular season. Plus, how great would it be to see Burke pick Ottawa every year? Whoops, got caught out in left field there. The Leafs and the Senators in the playoffs? Never happen.

Few bits to leave you with, Larry King style. First, imagine my horror when I read WCH's column on Gilroy and realized I had basically posted this:
History, however, proves that no guarantee comes with the Hobey Baker honour. In the 29 years it has been awarded [since 1981], only four recipients have developed into star players in the NHL - Neal Broten [the first winner]; Paul Kariya [1993]; Drury [1988] and Ryan Miller [2001].

verbatim at PPP the other day. I wondered why I'd woken up with a mustache.

Friend Of The Bloc Jeff Blair's new 'at-large' beat hasn't yet paid off as much as I'd hoped in the way of analysis or new horizons, but he's always willing to give a different take than the usual beat grunt. Still very much worth following. For example:

 Anyhow, it's off the Rogers Centre, with howls of protest from enraged New York Islanders fans ringing in my ears over the suggestion that John Tavares would be better served playing in a place where the game matters appears to have subsided (OK, howl's a bit over the top. By my count it was 12 enraged e-mails, all mentioning 1967 - which shows a serious lack of originality, since no columnist would ever want the Cup drought to end because of the endless source of material it provides - but I figure that with a couple more e-mails I'll have pretty much covered the Islanders season-ticket base.) Strange . . . the e-mails seem to subside during Grade school hours. These people. They take themselves WAY too seriously.

Good stuff, and it's nice to hear Dick Ripietro is really serious about getting his Grade 6 this year. We're pulling for ya buddy!

Finally, a first here at Cox Bloc. CAPTION CONTEST!!! Bonus points to those entries that eschew the standard jokes about Kyle's predilection for high-calorie foodstuffs.... we all know he is a trencherman, people. Witticisms, ho!

 
wellfed.jpg

18 Comments

Wohn Jensink said:

"i never knew that success tastes delicious."

Godd Till said:

How does YOU ARE BANNED taste?

ymitry duskeivich said:

Man, been waiting for forever for a Coxbloc post. :)
So much Cox-fodder in the last while, and so little pushback......like this one-
http://thestar.blogs.com/thespin/2009/04/the-final-laboured-breaths-of-les-habitants.html
Now that the Habs are done, Cox will be able to breathe through his mouth again.

My caption-
You can eat pasta without 1/2 lb. of melted cheese and 1 lb. of meatballs? No shit!

Mike D said:

That pasta's as white as the Blue Jays!

wraparoundcurl said:

Dude, you can totallyyyyy deep fry spaghetti in bacon and velveeta. I did it once. Or like five times.

A shocked Kyle Wellwood learns that pasta can be served with something other than a blender and a funnel.

Bim Jenning said:

"You gonna finish that?
You gonna finish that?
You gonna finish that?
You gonna finish that?
You gonna finish that?
How about now?
You gonna finish that?
You gonna finish that?
You gonna finish that?
You gonna finish that?"

Godd Till said:

Lots of good shit so far... loved DGBs post, loved Mike's White Jays comment (winner for originality so far), but Bim Jenning is the leader in the clubhouse for now.

ymitri duskeivich said:

Kidk calls anti-peterborough-commenter bias due to the post-writer being homesick and having missed a trivia win, the Bruce Cockburn concert at Showplace last night (much win!) and KJ's band at the Only tomorrow nite.

"If I give you $1200, will you whack the Canucks dietician for me? Pretty plz?"

Dick RiPietro said:

Grade 6...I wish...I dropped out long ago.

Ferry Krasier said:

Is that for Mats' hair transplant?

Godd Till said:

Nice one Ferry - I think we have a new leader.

And come on Dick - you can handle fractions! Look at this way - Brendan Witt + Steve Webb equals 1/16 of a man. How many guys like that do the Islander need to ice one guy who's not a gutless coward?

Godd Till said:

Damn, KK, have fun at the show tomorrow nite.

ymitri duskeivich said:

I will. I promise. ;)

I wonder what he's hiding under that plate.

rill boot said:

Mmm....that pasta would be so good with a generous side of Soylent Green.

If you want me to give you witticisms, don't fuckin' call me a ho.

Also, is it just me or are there white stains all over the right breast of Wellwood's shirt?

Mike D said:

Nats - Wellwood's shirt isn't red with white stains: It's a white shirt and he's sweating tomato sauce. He's also clearly amazed at that 2-sided fork. Thanks for the love, Till.

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This page contains a single entry by Godd Till published on April 22, 2009 3:29 PM.

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