These are strange times, sports fans. So I take comfort in these missives I received from down the QEW from longtime caller Uncle Nats Maslund, letting us know that Damien, like Churchill, may be the only man who understands the threat we face:
"The sensible approach, then, is for the NHL... to establish a blue-ribbon committee to examine the viability of a second team in Southern Ontario."
Oh fuck me sideways, Coxy. That is too much.
"Yanking a struggling team out of one market to put it somewhere else that looks promising just isn't the way Bettman's NHL has done business."
No, a team has to be very popular locally in order for Bettman's NHL to yank it out of the market. For example, the Winnipeg Jets. Or the Quebec Nordiques. Or the Hartford Whalers.
Seriously... have we fallen to the level where it's just OK to flat-out lie in the pages of a daily newspaper, and no repercussions can be expected?
And Cox's article actually ran WITH A PICTURE OF BRUCE MCNALL ON IT. And a comparison in the article to McNall and John Rigas. Why not also speculate he might also be a child-molesting serial killer? What if Jim Balsillie wants to move the Coyotes to Hamilton as part of a terrorist plot, huh? *What then?????* How long must we be subjected to this man's evil schemes before some good person, some brave Damien Cox of law enforcement, stands up to him and his nefarious schemes?!? If you want your children to die in a ditch somewhere in Arizona, choking on their last breath of free air as Balsillie cackles his evil laugh, then go ahead and appease this monster. Let him engage in his "free market" transaction. But when this results in the death of hockey, don't come crying to me, because I WANTED A COMISSION. AND NOT A FUCKEN WHITE RIBBON COMMISSION EITHER... I want a BROWN ribbon commission. I mean BLUE, blue.
Yes truly Cox has done us the service of alerting to the terrifying threat of a man so evil, so deranged, he is trying to.... buy a business without doing the expected level of asskissing and bottlewashing of the other shady rich pricks first. It's just not done!
Thanks, Damien, for speaking out about the greatest danger to hockey and our Canadian way of life since the metric system or flouridated water. I mean, Cox has even uncovered Balsillie's WMD, the Ultimate Terror Ray whose shadow we all cower under:All these points are all dismissed or ignored by those who have drank deeply from Balsillie's Kool-Aid machine.
OH NOES! He has a Kool-Aid machine! Jim Balsillie is Jim Jones x 1000! DO YOU WANT TICKETS FOR THE JONESTOWN SIPPYCUPPERS? DO YOU???
Who said it's hard to get good help these days? This has a level of servility that would embarass Waylon Smithers.